6 Types Of Players In Pickup Basketball
Start writing a post

6 Types Of Players In Pickup Basketball

The starting five (and sixth man) of the dudes you'll find in every gym in America.

6 Types Of Players In Pickup Basketball

Every guy has experienced it. You step into your nearest gym to shoot a few hoops to finish a workout or maybe you even brought shoes and intended to get a couple of games in. Immediately upon entry, you're being sized up by the rest of the ball-bouncing patrons that surround you, and eventually, you'll be asked the question out-of-shape men ages 18-60 have been asking since Dr. Naismith created the game with peach baskets: "hey, you wanna play?"

At which point you likely oblige and immediately start sizing up the other men within the game. These are the six stereotypes your mind immediately jumps to when sizing up opposing competitors, and unlike most of life, you're more often than not correct.

1. The Hustle Guy

There's a couple of different possibilities for a backstory for, "the hustle guy." One is that he is or was a supremely talented athlete in a different sport, and is now playing pickup for the sake of his buddies or just to get a run in; or it's that this is where he gets his juice, why he gets up every morning, which is probably much more concerning for you as an opponent. The hustle guy will lead the game in both fouls and high fives. He'll take you as a personal challenge, whether you're a former 20 point scorer or a throw-in.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F03%2F27%2F635946455794462094-329867146_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=624&h=0d96bd1ab6ec22d5eef2d25b3047baeb5cff04b34dd43b9d0ba31e3ca623298c&size=980x&c=482851398 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F03%252F27%252F635946455794462094-329867146_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D624%26h%3D0d96bd1ab6ec22d5eef2d25b3047baeb5cff04b34dd43b9d0ba31e3ca623298c%26size%3D980x%26c%3D482851398%22%7D" expand=1]

2. The Gear Guy

A personal favorite. This is the guy that shows up to a church league game with headband and arm sleeve already on. He drove to the gym drinking an electrolyte supplement. He laces up the newest KD's/Lebron's/Curry's, begins his intricate warm-up and refuses to enter the game until he's "loose". A master of throwing his head back to, "get the call" in a call-your-own-fouls game, he shoots heat checks after making one pull-up jumper. A risk/reward if you pick him for your team.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F03%2F27%2F6359464584119888231772489263_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=127&h=61126ea48214f8450d584dd4ce2b9f0157835905356b8c51abe3f540b8b5e3d7&size=980x&c=749802654 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F03%252F27%252F6359464584119888231772489263_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D127%26h%3D61126ea48214f8450d584dd4ce2b9f0157835905356b8c51abe3f540b8b5e3d7%26size%3D980x%26c%3D749802654%22%7D" expand=1]

3. The Trash Talker

Number two and three can sometimes overlap, but when a team has both, the beauty of pickup basketball is in full effect. This is the guy who has a disclaimer before the game starts. Something to the effect of, "Ay man, I just want you to know once I step between these lines, I'm a different dude." On the second possession of the game, he calls for a clear out and fires up a step back 3 airball, claiming the ball is slippery. With both the shortest memory on misses and the longest memory on makes, it takes a special type of person to be this guy. Also, beware of statements like, "these dudes CAN'T GUARD ME" while standing in the corner calling for the ball, shooting hand trembling.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F03%2F27%2F635946459957373624681796352_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=988&h=4640b6821444e2486674a04085e5bb33a406d43fe2a63f50df8ec8d7a674315b&size=980x&c=1976945554 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F03%252F27%252F635946459957373624681796352_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D988%26h%3D4640b6821444e2486674a04085e5bb33a406d43fe2a63f50df8ec8d7a674315b%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1976945554%22%7D" expand=1]

4. The Geezer

The most underrated of the five. A requirement of fitting this mold is to be over the age of 40, or at least appear so. No one wants to foul, touch or even guard "The Geezer" until he makes three straight 15-foot bank shots in a row. A master of the high post bounce pass and flat-footed block, he plays below the rim and above the brain. In a full court game, he may be exposed by younger legs. In a half court game, class is in session.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F03%2F27%2F635946461057155423-1331290995_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=533&h=e54a384e693d65c8ce7200f917f7b4e2789ff05d3f70a2757b79fdeb0e841dbf&size=980x&c=1138795619 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F03%252F27%252F635946461057155423-1331290995_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D533%26h%3De54a384e693d65c8ce7200f917f7b4e2789ff05d3f70a2757b79fdeb0e841dbf%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1138795619%22%7D" expand=1]

5. The Skyscraper

First of all, let me say this: if there's anyone above 6'8" in your gym and under the age of 45, there's no way he can even dribble a basketball because if he could, he'd be getting paid to play basketball, aka not in your YMCA in Wichita, Kansas. With that being said, I've found most tall guys who play pickup don't even like basketball or can't play, they've just been told their entire lives they like basketball because they're naturally a little closer to the rim than the rest of us. This might be the least desirable of the stereotypes, because you get most of the blame from your buddies because you are, like, really tall. DO THINGS I CAN'T DO is all I'm asking.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F03%2F27%2F635946461627396603946425214_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=443&h=6eaf030fff96d0395b725a4509883d882b63b3134e2c1773c6f0901640c20dc9&size=980x&c=366280894 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F03%252F27%252F635946461627396603946425214_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D443%26h%3D6eaf030fff96d0395b725a4509883d882b63b3134e2c1773c6f0901640c20dc9%26size%3D980x%26c%3D366280894%22%7D" expand=1]

6. The Man

Every alpha dog asserts his dominance one way or another, and "The Man" is no different. When you walk in to the gym or your game and see guys warming up, "The Man" can easily be identified by dunking, shooting Chef Curry distance 3's or even stretching, likely with one of his dutiful minions."The Man" often wants to bring the ball up, and is guilty of passing and then immediately wanting the ball back. Many times, he can combine multiple stereotypes on this list, making for some truly memorable pickup games. This is the guy that may have his girl at his game, take possessions off, demand an isolation on the last possession of the game, and ask if you guys saw "my man go off" last night, with no indication as to who his man is.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F03%2F27%2F635946466801150389-614319629_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=756&h=d9ff1c64c2108821f5c005005d24da4525252e27c5c8a34a8f2f78acfcb2e7fc&size=980x&c=3847415405 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F03%252F27%252F635946466801150389-614319629_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D756%26h%3Dd9ff1c64c2108821f5c005005d24da4525252e27c5c8a34a8f2f78acfcb2e7fc%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3847415405%22%7D" expand=1]

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Is Meaningful Casual Sex A Paradox?

Why noncommittal sex is more complicated than we'd like to think.


I lost my virginity to a graduate student from Los Angeles. We’d met at a rundown cafe whose Yelp page complained of an alleged rat infestation. His name was Ken and he was 25. What drew me to him was the peculiar way his mouth was perpetually fixed into a sideways, half-moon shape that was like a smirk but without any trace of smugness. But the two most striking parts of Ken by far were the dinner plate roundness of his face and his small, expressionless teddy bear eyes. Of the things that mattered to him, there was his best friend, a college dropout who sold computer parts in Toronto, and sex.

Keep Reading... Show less

A Conversation About Sex

"Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature." - Marilyn Monroe

Thinking Beyond Barriers

There it is. Even though I'm not around you, I can feel it. Was there a flutter of embarrassment in your mind when you saw the word sex in this article’s title? Did you look over your shoulder to ensure nobody was around before you began to read this?

Keep Reading... Show less

13 Signs You Are A True Cancer Of The Zodiac

Calling all babies born June 21st - July 22nd!

My Astral Life

I'm the first to admit that I am one of THOSE people who uses their zodiac sign as a description of themselves. I realize not everyone believes in astrology-related anything, and there are plenty of people who don't fit their signs. However, I'm one of the people who truly fits their sign to a tee. I'm a Cancer, a Crab, a Moon Child. It's currently our season fellow Crabs! So without further ado, here are all of the signs that you're a Cancer.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Blessing of Lacking Sex Appeal

To all the fellow non "it" girls out there


Lacking sex appeal is not a desirable thing. It makes you fee not ugly, but wrong. Not having charisma is not a life goal. It doesn't make you fee friendless, but isolated. Not being the "it" girl happens, and tonight (and every nigh prior to this)

Keep Reading... Show less

Confessions From the Single Friend of the Group

It is truly the worst place to be

Confessions From the Single Friend of the Group

Look. If you are anything like me, complaining about being single is such a hard thing to because you are genuinely happy for your friends, but as they continue to be happy in their relationships, the ever crushing weight of being the single friends can become overwhelming. For context, my primary friend group consists of four people. We are all roommates and it is a great time here. All three of my roommates have boyfriends/girlfriends, which makes our friend group of four quickly jump to seven, and it is wonderful! I love my roommates so much and I love their S.O's, but no matter how much I love them I always get extremely jealous and sad. The sad thing is that the only part that ever truly ends up bugging me is that since I am single, they are my go-to top priorities and it has been really hard to watch myself slip from the top of their go-to's to not being their go to when they feel the weight of the world. What makes it harder is that expressing that I feel alone and unwanted makes me sound jealous and like I don't want my friends to hangout with their people. I get it. I do. But there are just days I want to be someone's first pick and I'm not.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments