In today’s world, sex is a part of our daily lives and routine. From commercials to conversation, people give sex a thought more than they may think. When the topic of sex comes up people are either uncomfortable or completely open to the concept.

Since most people in college are having sex and information about sex is so easily accessed, what could be something people don’t really register when it comes to sex? The answer is sex is a learning interaction between one, two, maybe even six people if you’re feisty enough. Here are some things having sex has taught me.

1. Communication

Talking before sex makes everything so much easier. You can find out what they like and how they like it. Moaning, grinding and touching are also forms of communication. As long as you or your partner is getting the message across of what they want then you’re communicating just fine.

2. Multi-tasking

Before actually having sex, I looked at it as a strenuous ordeal. How could she hold her legs up like that while using her hand like that and goodness gracious what is she doing with her mouth? I later learned sex gives you the chance to hone your skills—all of them (maybe at the same time). Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed but you’ll soon get the hang of it.

3. Boundaries

Sex is as much about the no’s as it is the yes’s. Realizing what you will not or cannot do saves a lot of time, effort and sometimes pain (no more sex in showers for me). It is best to tell your partner this beforehand so that you guys are on the same page. If you realize a boundary during sex it’s OK to say something.

4. Pain can be good

Sorry to be graphic, but don’t judge until you’ve gotten your hair pulled and your ass slapped during sex (multi-tasking much). It’s Godly. But pain isn’t all slaps, chokes and hair pulling. There are less painful forms of pain out there. Take tickling, once used for torture, it can be great for sex. Basically, don’t run away from everything—give it try. You just might like it.

5. Confidence

Boy oh boy does sex give you confidence. When you’re in a bedroom (or car or shower) there’s a chance your self-confidence will increase. Maybe it’s from knowing your body is banging, because your kitty on fleek or because your mouth works miracles. Whatever it is, once you get that confidence you feel like a boss.

6. Be Yourself

Last but certainly not least: be yourself. No one wants to hang out with someone so energetic just to find they're boring in bed. By being yourself, you’re making sure that you’re staying true to you and your partner is getting the person they signed up for. So laugh, giggle and crack jokes if that’s who you are. I guarantee it’ll be a much better experience.

Every time you have sex with someone you are learning something new, which could be as simple as finding out what that person likes. And if you aren’t going into the situation trying to please your partner(s), then shame on you. Everything you learn during sex can be used in real life as a concept so no kink shaming. Always remember to make sex safe and consensual.