Hold on to your loafers, folks. We're about to talk about all the reasons why I love bread, and why you should, too. Rye, you ask? Because bread is quite possibly the greatest thing in the world.
1. There is nothing like fresh, warm bread.
Whether you're baking it at home or the beautiful waiters and waitresses at restaurants are bringing it out, there is something so soothing about eating freshly baked bread. Is it the warmth? Is it the deliciousness? Is it the fact that carbs are "bad" for you, and you just don't care? All of the above? You're damn right it's all of the above.
2. You need it to make sandwiches.
Do I even need to explain this one? Sandwiches, people. Delicious goodness in-between two pieces of more delicious goodness. There is nothing like an Italian sandwich with oil and vinegar dripping down your hands. Don't try to fight me on this one, Sharon.
3. All bread goes with butter.
Butter? Did someone say butter? One of the most beautiful words created? Bread and butter is the cure to all things evil in the world. I swear by this. Are you sad? Bread and butter. Your man dumped you? Bread and butter. Failed an exam? Bread and butter. Aced an exam? Yep, you guessed it, bread and butter. You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen.
4. How else would you eat bagels?
With some nice, creamy cream cheese that's how. Woo, don't even get me going on bagels and cream cheese.
5. We can't forget pasta.
That's right, Michelle Tanner. You definitely understand how to eat a plate of pasta. Shoving it in your mouth like it's about to vanish at any moment. We all do it, there's nothing to be ashamed about. I know I'm not.
6. I know what you're thinking, and no, I didn't forget about donuts.
My main man, Homer Simpson, speaks to every donut lover out there. Me too, Homer, me too. Whether it's a classic glazed or a Bavarian creme, I think we can all agree donuts are a gift to the world.
Bread in all its forms is something to be celebrated. So get out there. Go to the store, a bagel shop, a donut place and buy yourself some damn bread.
