Let me start off by saying that I’ve never really been in a real relationship. Sure, I’ve “talked” to people before, for long periods of time, but never made it “official.” I’m not really a fan of these terms as I’ll later point out, but they’re the necessary lingo to use when discussing someone’s dating life in the 21st century. This is why I find dating so much more frustrating than it should be.
1. I don’t believe that well-thought out dates are actually even a thing anymore.
Does anyone go to the movies as a date, or is that just an activity reserved for those who are already “official?”
2. Speaking of, I really dislike the current terminology that comes as a package deal with this whole dating scene.
What is “talking?” To me, it means that you and another person are engaging in some type of conversation, but I believe it’s developed a new definition over the years. It seems to me as though this is the stage before the “dating” stage, which is, of course, before the “Facebook-Official-We-Can-Tell-Mom-And-Dad” stage. Why do these “stages” even exist in the first place? My thought is that everyone is so terrified by even the thought of commitment that they have to be extra, extra positive that this person is the person they want to be “tied down” to, which is a terrible phrase in itself. Why give such a negative connotation to something as wonderful as being in a relationship?
3. It is socially acceptable to have “side chicks” or “dudes.”
Why can we not just pick one person of interest and try that relationship out before we move on to the next? Too many people are entirely too clueless about what is going on behind their backs, and once they do find out, they end up hurt and developing trust issues, which is never a good thing.
4. Tinder, and every other dating app, is seriously a joke.
I finally gave in and downloaded Tinder after seeing so many of my friends “playing” on the app. I thought, “Hey, I’m a friendly person, and there’s no harm in friendly conversation with fellow people my age. Right?” Wrong. Tinder opened my eyes to just how many creeps there are in the world. You could be having a friendly conversation with someone who seems like they’re responsible, has their life together, is very respectable, and then out of nowhere – BAM! “So when we gonna hook up?” Can’t I just meet someone out in the real world, or is that too old school?
5. Nobody has feelings anymore, or at least that’s what people like others to think.
I am totally guilty of this. It kind of seems like being emotionless is easier than being the one who cares about the other person more than they do you. Why do we all fear vulnerability? What good does it do to be completely closed off from all emotions other than to cause you to be lonely?
6. Every ounce of communication seems to be done over text messaging.
If you really like someone, you text them and tell them. If you want to make it official, you text them and say, “Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?” If you all of a sudden don’t have feelings for someone anymore, they don’t even deserve a face-to-face explanation as to why -- you can end it as simply as, “I don’t think we should talk anymore,” and then there you go, end of conversation if that’s what you decide. Being able to communicate in so many different ways is such a beautiful advantage. Write letters. Have deep, open talks at 1 a.m. IN PERSON. Texting may be convenient, but it isn’t always the best form of communication.
This is just a short list of many, many reasons why I dislike the fact that I am a 20-year-old female who is single in the year 2016. I find myself to be significantly independent, so the fear of being alone isn’t really the problem. It’s just the fact that if I ever did decide that I wanted to settle down, finding someone to do so with would be close to impossible. If anybody has some tips on how to understand the dating scene of 2016, help a girl out and shoot me a message. Or, you know, we could plan a day to go out and talk about it over some coffee.
