Dieting is the actual worst. I’ve been on a doctor-recommended diet for almost six months now and let me tell you, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Hear me out -- I honestly think you should take care of yourself and be as healthy as you can. Regardless of body type or shape, being healthy should be a priority. However, being on a prescribed diet for medical purposes is the reason crying exists. It’s like, I could eat this pizza, but I would feel like actual death. Sure, you technically could cheat on your diet, but you’ll feel more than guilt in your stomach.
So, you dream. You dream of what could be, if only your body didn’t hate you and you could live life like any other normal human, sugar and all. I do this on a regular basis, and here are all the foods I have and probably will cheat on my diet for.
1. Waffles
I know what you’re thinking -- “Are you Leslie Knope?” The answer is yes. Waffles were created for our enjoyment by the Belgians over 600 years ago, and the world hasn’t been the same since. I don’t know what’s better, the fact that it’s basically a cake that is acceptable to eat for breakfast or that it’s a pancake that has pockets to hold your syrup and butter. Either way, this breakfast dessert is worth it.
2. Pie
No, not a specific pie. All pie. Because the great thing about pie is that there are literally no limits. You can go traditional with cherry or apple, you can make it fancy with some lemon meringue or French silk, you can even go a little crazy and put some chicken, gravy and peas in it and call it chicken pot pie. The possibilities are endless and delicious!
3. Pizza
Ah, pizza. The most diverse and beautiful food creation. Seriously, what can’t you do with a pizza? Pineapple? Sure. Crab meat? Absolutely. Chocolate? Heck. Yes. Sometimes I can lose track of how many pizzas I have eaten in a given week. If you’re going to cheat on your diet, do it with a food that can fit your mood no matter what it is.
4. Cheeseburgers
Burgers in general are one of the food world’s most delicious staples. Sold at nearly every restaurant, you can have a burger whenever and wherever you want. I consider myself to be quite the burger connoisseur and I have to say, I have tried some downright delicious burgers in my lifetime. Burgers smashed between two pieces of potato bread, burgers made by a man who looked like Elvis, burgers that I could barely fit in my mouth. All I have to say is, if you’re looking for a quick cheat, burgers are the delicious and easy way to go.
5. Brownies
Just to be really clear, I’m not taking about those nasty cosmic brownies with the tiny fake M&M’s in them, I’m not talking about some run-of-the-mill box mix brownies -- I’m talking homemade, double-fudge, chucks of chocolate chips, fresh out of the oven brownies. If you’re going to break the diet you’ve been working so hard on, you might as well do it right.
6. Burritos
Mexican food is my main weakness. If I was Superman, burritos would be my Lois Lane. (Not my kryptonite, because that kills Superman. Burritos only make me stronger.) A burrito is full of all of the food that doesn’t taste super great on its own: lettuce, refried beans, rice, etc. But when you combine them together, add a little sauce and a lot of sour cream and then wrap that perfection in a flour tortilla, there is nothing that can stand in your way. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.
A few honorable mentions include cookies, sweet and sour chicken, pasta, birthday cake and grilled cheese.
Being on a diet is hard. It might be one of the consistently hard things you will ever have to do. But it’s also worth it. Being healthy is awesome and you’ll feel like a million bucks if you take care of your body, even if that means forgoing the deep dish dessert pizza for a scrumptious strawberry parfait. The point isn’t to deprive yourself of the things you love, but rather save them for special occasions.
In the end, the most important thing I've learned about food is this, there is always a time to treat yo self.
