People are always shy about their weight. “Fat” has become one of the biggest insults in American culture. So here it is. I am putting it all out there. My name is Faith Bowen and I am 5’6" and 160 pounds. I am not ashamed. I am not embarrassed that I have some fat on my stomach and back. I refuse to let it keep me from wearing the bathing suit I want. I refuse to let the number on the scale define me because I know God made me a beautiful human being.
Fat. I remember the first time I was called that. I was in fourth grade, and yes I was pretty chubby back then, but the moment I was called that will stick with me forever. It hurt badly. Who knew one word could take you down in as little as one second. Who knew that one word could haunt you for years? Who knew that one word could change the way you look at yourself and honestly make you hate yourself? Fat was the word that had the power to do that to me.
When I was growing up I was a bit chubby. I ate a lot (mainly because I ate my feelings), so naturally I went through a really chubby stage. The word fat haunted me through elementary and middle school, which caused me to do things like starve myself and exercise absurd amounts the summer before I entered high school. I was so obsessed with what everyone else thought of me, I joined the cross-country team (side note, I despised running back then), and just so I could lose weight. And yes, joining the team made me drop about 30 pounds (and also made me a running addict). The funny thing about losing that weight was I still hated myself. I still thought I was fat, Even though I was 5’6" and 130 pounds (I swear I looked sick) my sophomore year of high school, I still thought I needed to drop about 10 more pounds. As I grew older I began to love myself more and value my body. I began to learn words do not define me and my appearance does not define me. I learned that Faith was awesome and although people made me feel ugly, they didn’t matter. So yeah, I gained the weight back (a lot of which in muscle). I life, I eat right, I run. I take care of my body (and enjoy cookout and Chick-fil-a). I learned the word fat doesn’t define me because I am a beautiful person.
The other day I watched Shawn Johnson’s (the totally beast Olympic gymnast) "I Am Second" video. I discovered even though she was an elite athlete, she still struggled with self-image issues because she didn’t have the “typical” women’s body type (a lot like me). People would call her fat and make her feel bad about her appearance…and she was winning gold metals! So moral of the story, there are always going to be haters.
So in my mind, the word fat is irrelevant. Who cares if people think your fat? Who cares if people criticize your appearance and your every move? Their opinion is irrelevant. God made you who you are for a reason. He made you beautiful. So if people make you feel bad about how you look, if they call you fat, if they make you feel like you aren’t good enough, forget about them. They just can’t appreciate how beautiful God made you. As my Mom once told me, you can be the most beautiful grape in the world…and some people just hate grapes. So keep your head up, and take it from someone who has been there. We are beautiful and god doesn’t make junk.
