Death is hard. Now before you call me "Captain Obvious," let that simple phrase sink in completely.
Death is hard. Death is uncomfortable. It’s something no one wants to talk about. Something that no one wants to admit happens. When someone dies the subject is hard to breach no matter who you are. Death is hard. Death is unavoidable.
No one is safe from death. No one will go on without experiencing it in some way. We experience it through the loss of people around us whether they are loved ones or strangers. And eventually we will all experience death in the most personal of ways: our own ending. Although death is everywhere around us, it is still treated as a taboo. We know it happens, but talking about it is a no no.
No matter what you believe in, when it comes to a life after, death is still hard. It comes out of nowhere most times and steals the things you love: family, friends, pets. The aftermath of death is even harder. You wonder why. You grasp at straws trying to make sense of what has happened. So many emotions wash over you at once. The memories make you happy. Reality makes you mad and sad. And the overwhelming rush of emotions makes you numb.
It’s a stage of contradictions that makes your head spin and your stomach cramp up. You want to talk but you also want to stay silent. Your body and mind are absolutely exhausted but sleeping is a challenge all in itself. Your body is craving food but even the thought of eating makes you sick to your stomach. Death and grieving take a toll on your whole life physically, emotionally and socially.
Death sucks. There is probably more eloquent ways to put it, but is that really necessary? Doesn’t it all boil down to the same concept? We try to come up with the right words to help people, something that is carefully crafted with every intention of not reminding them of the pain. But no matter what we say, it still hurts. Words do not change what has happened. They do not change the pain. So let’s just be completely honest with each other and say what we are all feeling: death sucks.
However, I need you to know something. This is to everyone who comes across this article by choice or by chance. This is to the people grieving, who feel helpless and alone. This is to the people who are scared of death. This is to the friends and family trying to help someone who is grieving. This is to someone who has felt the pain of so many deaths in their lives and to those who have felt none.
You are not alone. You are never alone.
Death is a thing. It happens. But it doesn’t just happen to one person. It doesn’t just affect one person. Remember you are never alone in your feelings. There are so many people who are going through what you are going through. There are so many people around you willing to be the shoulder you lean on. Use the resources you have because you never know when you leaning on someone is helping them to stand up at the same time.
So, yes, death is hard. Death sucks. But in the end, it’s never going away. So rather than not talking about it, let’s lean on each other. Have the uncomfortable conversation about death and the emotions that surround it. We will never be able to handle our feelings on death if we do it alone.
