If you're anything like me, you look forward to Mondays because The Bachelorette is on. I'm not ashamed to say that this reality show is my guilty-pleasure. How could you not love watching attractive people do crazy things, she says sarcastically. Regardless of how cheesy it may be at times, I'm still a member of Bachelor Nation. Since the finale was last Monday, I figured it would be fitting to write about the thoughts that were running through my mind during the episode. Warning: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SPOILERS! Now that you've been warned, enjoy the weirdness that is my brain.
1. Why is Jojo so pretty?
2. No, seriously...it's annoying
3. Her makeup is literally perfect
4. She's flawless
5. SHE HAS ZERO FAT ON HER BODY
6. Who looks that good after they swim? Sure as hell not me
7. Does anyone actually eat on this show?
8. If nobody is going to eat that, I know someone who would (ME)
9. OMG, Jordan is meeting her parents and they're going to fall in love with him just like I have
10. He bought them all hats, what a gentleman!
11. His hair is seriously #goals
12. Jojo's brothers are really cute
13. One of them should be the next Bachelor
14. JORDAN, WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK THE FAMILY FOR THEIR BLESSING TO MARRY JOJO?
15. SHE ASKED YOU TO AND YOU TOLD HER HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS TO YOU?
16. Jojo's going to be pissed...
17. I forgive you, Jordan. You're a winner in my heart.
18. I can't believe she's dating two people at the same time
19. They're both so good looking and perfect and love her, wow
20. Robby always looks so stylish, WERK!
21. Ok, Jojo's fam definitely like Robby better than Jordan
22. He's such a sweetheart!
23. He loves her A LOT...maybe too much? Kinda getting weird vibes here
24. OMG ROBBY ASKED FOR A BLESSING WITH BOTH PARENTS!
25. JORDAN, WHAT THE HELL, BAE?
26. Ok, Jojo's definitely going to pick Robby
27. But Jordan though...
28. Can't she just pick both men?
29. #polygamy
30. Idea for a drinking game: take one shot each time Jojo cries
31. I'd be drunk (Jk, I don't drink because I'm not 21...)
32. Ok, Jordan seriously looks like the asparagus from Veggie Tales (Buzzfeed never fails to make life better)
33. CANNOT UNSEE
34. How is Jojo supposed to decide between Robby or Jordan?
35. OMG, she's crying again...
36. THE LETTERS THEY WROTE, I'M DEAD
37. I just want someone to love me as much as Robby and Jordan love Jojo
38. JORDAN FINALLY ASKED FOR A BLESSING FROM THE FAMILY
39. Over the phone though...oh well, I still love him
40. Time to pick out the engagement rings...I can't wait to get married
41. THESE RINGS ARE PRETTIER THAN I'LL EVER BE
42. OH SNAP, OH SNAP, THEY'RE AT THE BEACH. IT'S HAPPENING!
43. JOJO, YOU'RE A GODDESS!
44. ROBBY, NOOOOOOO! POOR GUY!
45. She's crying again...
46. I feel bad for Robby, wait...that means...
47. JORDANNNNN!
48. JOJO LOVES JORDAN. OH MY GOD, MY HEART IS SO HAPPY!
49. THEY'RE ENGAGED!
50. Robby's back on the market now... ;)
Until next season, The Bachelorette. Please make Chase the next Bachelor (or Jojo's brother) :)
