I will never vote for Donald Trump and neither should you. I can go on and on about reasons why I will never vote for Trump, but it boils down to one very simple reason: Donald Trump is a crazy person. He’s a lunatic, nuts, wacky, kooky, batty, berserk, a pyscho, a maniac, off his bonkers and screwy. You get the idea. If you have any more synonyms for crazy, please insert them here _______________. If you are voting for Donald Trump, you are probably a crazy person too. Instead of my continuing to go on about why I would never vote for that crazy twit, I created a list of 50 things I would rather do than vote for Donald Trump.
50. Wipe my butt with sandpaper.
49. Get a paper-cut on my lip.
48. Shave my legs. (I’m a dude)
47. Call Sarah Palin smart.
46. Call Hillary Clinton honest.
45. Convince minorities that Trump is not a racist, bigot, xenophobic twit.
44. Stroll naked through Rikers island.
43. Wear Flava Flav’s gold teeth.
42. Drink water that had dentures in them.
41. Get a bum bump.
40. Shave my beard and mustache. (I’ll look like I’m 12)
39. Step on a leggo.
38. Never eat cheese again.
37. Eat hair.
36. Read a book written by Ann Coulter.
35. Sing in a singing competition where Simon Cowell is judge. (You don't want to hear me sing)
34. Glue my hands to my feet.
33. Eat McDonalds.
32. Shave my eyebrows.
31. Wear Red Sox gear to a Yankees game.
30. Sh*t a brick.
29. Have a colonoscopy.
28. Invest in Myspace stock.
27. Get stuck in a packed elevator for an hour with people who had beans for lunch.
26. Memorize the entire dictionary.
25. Watch paint dry.
24. Abandon my iPhone for a flip phone.
23. Allow Robert Stacks (the guy from unsolved mysteries) to read me a bedtime story.
22. Fly over the Bermuda Triangle.
21. Watch Miley Cyrus twerk.
20. Talk in only acronyms.
19. Eat expired milk.
18. Shave with a rusted razor.
17. Take life advice from Johnny Manziel.
16. Lick the bottom of your shoe.
15. Glue my lips together.
14. Retake every math course that I have ever taken.
13. Watch CNN.
12. Believe anything from Fox Nxews.
11. Trust Hillary Clinton with security.
10. Listen to a Lil Yachty freestyle. (skip ahead to 3:40)
9. Walk in a room filled with broken glass bare foot.
8. Stay in solitary confinement for a week.
7. Stick a fork in an electric socket. (I actually did this when I was two years old)
6. No more Netflix.
5. Rip off my toenails slowly.
4. Give Bernie Madoff my social security number.
3. Go to the doctor/ take medication.
2.Trade my hairline with Lebron James' hairline.
1. Vote for Bernie Sanders. #FeelTheBern or Jill Stein #JillNotHill
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Taylor Swift in a purple coat, captivating the crowd on stage.
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Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers sharing a joyful duet on stage.
