100 Things I Would Rather Do Than Vote For Hillary

100 Things I Would Rather Do Than Vote For Hillary

Let Edward Scissorhands give me a back massage.
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In a world full of terrible presidential candidates, there is one who truly reigns supreme. Here is a list of 100 things I would rather do than vote for Hillary Clinton this November.

1. Shave my legs with a chainsaw.

2. Delete my Netflix account.

3. Glue my hands to my feet.

4. Lose my car keys.

5. Throw my laptop down a flight of stairs.

6. Stare at the sun.

7. Brush my teeth with a rock.

8. Eat sushi with only one chopstick.

9. Get stuck in an elevator with Kim Kardashian.

10. Re-take the SAT.

11. Name my first born child "Cucumber".

12. Trade in my iPhone for a flip phone.

13. Let my Dad create my Tinder profile.

14. Shave my head.

15. Read the dictionary.

16. Use sandpaper as toilet paper.

17. Accidentally like my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend's Instagram picture from 2011.

18. Let OJ Simpson show me his knife collection.

19. Get braces again.

20. Inherit our national debt.

21. Eat a handful of bumble bees.

22. Bite into an ice pop.

23. Drink a gallon of mustard.

24. Take Michael Scott to a dinner party.

25. Use vinegar as eye drops.

26. Let Edward Scissorhands give me a back massage.

27. Show my boyfriend my middle school yearbook.

28. Walk on shattered glass.

29. Pet an alligator.

30. Ask Ozzy Osbourne to proofread my English essay.

31. Press * to hear more about the free trip to the Bahamas I won.

32. Invest in Blockbuster stock.

33. Work as a telemarketer.

34. Staple myself to a newspaper.

35. Go for a long drive during rush hour.

36. Bathe in mayonaise.

37. Go to the dentist every day for a month.

38. Carpool to work with the Belcher family.

39. Throw out my childhood stuffed animals.

40. Wear leather underwear.

41. Get kicked off my family's cell phone plan.

42. Move to a nudist colony in Antartica.

43. Put on mascara while riding a roller coaster.

44. Lick a gas station toilet.

45. Makeout with Fetty Wap.

46. Eat an onion like an apple.

47. Marry the guy I went on that really shitty Tinder date with.

48. And have Nickelback come play at our wedding.

49. And honeymoon in Idaho.

50. Pierce my own belly button.

51. Put on jeans after Thanksgiving dinner.

52. Have a permanent Charley Horse in my left leg.

53. Eat a brick.

54. Throw out my brand new Naked palette.

55. Fold a fitted sheet.

56. Learn how to knit.

57. Have an 8:00 a.m. Friday class.

58. Listen to Ross Geller give a lecture on the Paleozoic Era.

59. Have my card get stuck in an ATM.

60. Read Twilight.

61. Swallow a Lego.

62. Photocopy every page of War and Peace.

63. Never eat cheese again.

64. Write my senior thesis using T9 Word.

65. Give birth to quintuplets.

66. Let a mosquito bite me in the ear.

67. Only listen to N'Sync for the rest of my life.

68. Give myself a paper cut between all of my fingers.

69. Read 50 Shades of Grey to my grandmother.

70. Snort baby formula.

71. Share a taxi with the Dance Moms.

72. Fall passionately in love with a toaster.

73. Peel a potato with a toothpick.

74. Always have wet nails.

75. Develop a pizza allergy.

76. Eat hospital food every day.

77. Trade in my skinny jeans for gauchos.

78. Get lost in a corn maze.

79. Drop a bucket of sprinkles and then clean it up.

80. Go on a picnic with Rosie O'Donnell.

81. Drink my liquid foundation with a straw.

82. Listen to a Pandora commercial after every song.

83. Never connect to WiFi again.

84. Road-trip cross country in a Volkswagen Beetle.

85. Cough up a lung.

86. Wear a GAP sweatshirt.

87. Never wash my sheets again.

88. Breathe through a pool noodle for the rest of my life.

89. Eat gluten free for fun.

90. Assemble IKEA furniture.

91. Never be able to scratch another itch.

92. Only wear shoes that are one size too small.

93. Be an Uber driver.

94. Get banned from my local Chipotle.

95. Have pinkies for thumbs.

96. Invite my boss to play Farmville on Facebook.

97. Moisturize my face with hot sauce.

98. Eat leftover salad.

99. Have Nicholas Cage narrate my dreams.

100. Drink Pepsi instead of Coke.

Cover Image Credit: pinimg

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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American Or Christian?

Can you really be both?

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This is a thought that has lingered in my mind for a very long time.

Personally, I hate news and politics. It's depressing and it seems like both parties (and people in general) just don't get it. Political conversation gets on my ever-loving nerves and literally gets me down in the dumps for the day.

I just simply don't watch it anymore. There is too much negativity.

That doesn't mean that I am uniformed. I am not advocating for ignorance or anything like that. I prefer to read and figure out my information from sites "in the middle."

As I was eating dinner with my wife the other day we started talking about the new Abortion laws in Alabama and Georgia. As a Christ-follower and a staunch defender of Biblical inerrant, I detest abortion.

Before you read any farther, you must understand something: This article is not about my defense of my beliefs regarding hot topics like abortion or homosexuality. I do not have the time to write about said topics now. I am just asking you to accept what I believe for the sake of the article.

But, anyway, these abortion bills. I can make a pretty good case that they are Constitutional because they are protecting the Life (one of the Rights given to American Citizens) from others. Yes, I know the arguments against said point but continue with me please.

This led our conversation to talk about Homosexual marriage, something that I am against as well. And not just because of Leviticus but because of the New Testament as well.

But, shaking my head, I said something that my wife seemed to agree with:

"As a Christian, I know it's wrong and I cannot agree with it. As an American, I see no reason why it should be illegal. Unless your choices infringe someone's Rights, you should be free to do what you wish (technically speaking)."

This is my dilemma. Well, actually it's not a dilemma. I know that I am a Christian before I am an American. I love this country greatly, and I know how blessed I am to be born here. For all the hate this country gets (and some of it is deserved) and all the problems we have (and we have a lot), we are shoulders above other countries in many ways. I am so thankful for all the men and women who have served to protect me and keep me safe. I'm thankful for a lot of things. And I am proud to be an American.

But my identity in Christ comes first. This is why I do not get into politics much. I don't really care at the end of the day. Because while America has been blessed, we still have work to do here. And this is not my forever home. This is not where I will spend eternity.

I try and respect everyone's opinions, and I earnestly try to love everyone, even when they trash and disrespect my beliefs and convictions. But I must put my call to Christ about anything that has to do with this nation. I will pray for ALL our leaders because I was told to do so (I prayed for President Obama when he was in office). And I will be here to support this nation. But I cannot put it above Christ's commands.

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