100 Things I Would Rather Do Than Vote For Hillary

100 Things I Would Rather Do Than Vote For Hillary

Let Edward Scissorhands give me a back massage.

In a world full of terrible presidential candidates, there is one who truly reigns supreme. Here is a list of 100 things I would rather do than vote for Hillary Clinton this November.

1. Shave my legs with a chainsaw.

2. Delete my Netflix account.

3. Glue my hands to my feet.

4. Lose my car keys.

5. Throw my laptop down a flight of stairs.

6. Stare at the sun.

7. Brush my teeth with a rock.

8. Eat sushi with only one chopstick.

9. Get stuck in an elevator with Kim Kardashian.

10. Re-take the SAT.

11. Name my first born child "Cucumber".

12. Trade in my iPhone for a flip phone.

13. Let my Dad create my Tinder profile.

14. Shave my head.

15. Read the dictionary.

16. Use sandpaper as toilet paper.

17. Accidentally like my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend's Instagram picture from 2011.

18. Let OJ Simpson show me his knife collection.

19. Get braces again.

20. Inherit our national debt.

21. Eat a handful of bumble bees.

22. Bite into an ice pop.

23. Drink a gallon of mustard.

24. Take Michael Scott to a dinner party.

25. Use vinegar as eye drops.

26. Let Edward Scissorhands give me a back massage.

27. Show my boyfriend my middle school yearbook.

28. Walk on shattered glass.

29. Pet an alligator.

30. Ask Ozzy Osbourne to proofread my English essay.

31. Press * to hear more about the free trip to the Bahamas I won.

32. Invest in Blockbuster stock.

33. Work as a telemarketer.

34. Staple myself to a newspaper.

35. Go for a long drive during rush hour.

36. Bathe in mayonaise.

37. Go to the dentist every day for a month.

38. Carpool to work with the Belcher family.

39. Throw out my childhood stuffed animals.

40. Wear leather underwear.

41. Get kicked off my family's cell phone plan.

42. Move to a nudist colony in Antartica.

43. Put on mascara while riding a roller coaster.

44. Lick a gas station toilet.

45. Makeout with Fetty Wap.

46. Eat an onion like an apple.

47. Marry the guy I went on that really shitty Tinder date with.

48. And have Nickelback come play at our wedding.

49. And honeymoon in Idaho.

50. Pierce my own belly button.

51. Put on jeans after Thanksgiving dinner.

52. Have a permanent Charley Horse in my left leg.

53. Eat a brick.

54. Throw out my brand new Naked palette.

55. Fold a fitted sheet.

56. Learn how to knit.

57. Have an 8:00 a.m. Friday class.

58. Listen to Ross Geller give a lecture on the Paleozoic Era.

59. Have my card get stuck in an ATM.

60. Read Twilight.

61. Swallow a Lego.

62. Photocopy every page of War and Peace.

63. Never eat cheese again.

64. Write my senior thesis using T9 Word.

65. Give birth to quintuplets.

66. Let a mosquito bite me in the ear.

67. Only listen to N'Sync for the rest of my life.

68. Give myself a paper cut between all of my fingers.

69. Read 50 Shades of Grey to my grandmother.

70. Snort baby formula.

71. Share a taxi with the Dance Moms.

72. Fall passionately in love with a toaster.

73. Peel a potato with a toothpick.

74. Always have wet nails.

75. Develop a pizza allergy.

76. Eat hospital food every day.

77. Trade in my skinny jeans for gauchos.

78. Get lost in a corn maze.

79. Drop a bucket of sprinkles and then clean it up.

80. Go on a picnic with Rosie O'Donnell.

81. Drink my liquid foundation with a straw.

82. Listen to a Pandora commercial after every song.

83. Never connect to WiFi again.

84. Road-trip cross country in a Volkswagen Beetle.

85. Cough up a lung.

86. Wear a GAP sweatshirt.

87. Never wash my sheets again.

88. Breathe through a pool noodle for the rest of my life.

89. Eat gluten free for fun.

90. Assemble IKEA furniture.

91. Never be able to scratch another itch.

92. Only wear shoes that are one size too small.

93. Be an Uber driver.

94. Get banned from my local Chipotle.

95. Have pinkies for thumbs.

96. Invite my boss to play Farmville on Facebook.

97. Moisturize my face with hot sauce.

98. Eat leftover salad.

99. Have Nicholas Cage narrate my dreams.

100. Drink Pepsi instead of Coke.

Cover Image Credit: pinimg

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A Country, Divided

Hate will only fuel hate

With the latest school shootings, election investigations, and the Time's Up and #MeToo movements flooding social media and the news outlets, it's almost impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The people of our country are divided over personal beliefs, as usual, but have now insisted on using social media to belittle each other. While this is not new, each day I find new things people are complaining about on Facebook, especially the gun laws and problems with the NRA. While strict gun laws mean nothing to a country full of hatred, promoting and fighting for your rights with a heart full of hate will not make anything better for us.

It's one thing to support gun rights, but it's another to attack someone for wanting something different. All you have is an opinion. What you have to say is not fact, and it doesn't matter how many stats you find on the NRA's website to prove your point. Attacking students who watched their classmates die in front of them does not make you a great citizen because you're "protecting your rights." You sound like a jerk fighting with a 14 year old who is grieving.

I'm not writing this as a call to action, or to voice my opinion, because my opinions don't matter. In our country today, it seems like the only opinions that matter are those who are the rich, or those who are in support with our government. Anyone who goes against them are deemed liars and "wrong."

I'm glad that those who have wronged women are being punished. I'm glad that kids are finding their voices and are refusing to be silent. But if you fight with a CHILD, and tell them that their opinion doesn't matter, who ever told you yours did? Who made you feel like you were above everyone else because you support a big corporation, or a big government power? Hate to break it to you, but that's what they want. You're a dollar sign.

So the next time you log onto Facebook, Twitter, or whatever, think before you write a hateful post to your "friend" because you don't agree. Think before you yell at a child you've never met for using their freedom of speech and freedom to act, the same right that you're fighting for. Just because you're on opposing sides, doesn't mean you have to hate each other. Violence equals violence, and as of right now, I see no end.

Cover Image Credit: Sherry Boas

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Are Adults Using Children To Further Their Political Agenda?

They're smarter than kids, and it shows.

Since the national student walkout on March 14, there has been an increased sense of "pride" in the children of the United States.

Adults and politicians praise students for standing up for what they believe, even though these same children are too young to vote for those exact things that they believe in. Rolling Stone wrote an article that criticizes adult Americans for doing nothing since the Parkland mass shooting that killed 17. Articles like these are more than common lately - children are being worshipped while adults take the full blame for gun violence and the lack of change.

I, however, want to offer a new perspective. Columnist Megan McArdle wrote an opinion post titled "The student walkout said more about adults than kids," and it challenged me to think out of the box and offer a new opinion regarding this upcoming generation of students. (Give her article a read because it's really thought-provoking!)

When the walkout took place, not everyone participated. There were schools that fully supported it, but many threatened to punish students for leaving class. My sister's high school didn't organize a walkout, but many students still decided to participate on their own. The media, of course, highlighted the schools that had hundreds of students marching on school property, waving signs and chanting for change.

More importantly, the walkout symbolized a new era of student's voice. Never before had so many underage children stood up for what they believed in. But was it really what they wanted? Had every single one of the thousands of students nationwide been educated on gun usage, firearm statistics, and the actual definition of a mass shooting? Or had their parents, teachers, and the media just told them what to believe?

If children started protesting against the drinking age, how would the adults respond? They'd probably disagree and put down the protests. It would make media headlines for a day or two and then dissolve into nothing. What if 12-year-olds demanded the right to drive cars? Ridiculous, the adults would say. Children's opinions rarely matter because their knowledge and experience are weak compared to that of their superiors.

BUT, when a child stands up for something that the adults are also passionate about, all of sudden, that child is "wise beyond years" and "more mature than most." It would seem, then, that the adults are the ones shaping children and controlling what they support.

This isn't a new concept, of course. Adults are smarter than children, in my opinion, and you'd be dumb to argue against that. And yet, people are basically worshipping the walkout students for organizing such a huge event on their own, except it wasn't on their own. The entire walkout depended on the support and aid of adult teachers, parents, and organizations. Adults spread the word of the event via Facebook, Twitter, news outlets, and text messages. Adults provided security at the schools during the walkouts. Adults showed up to video the event and provide news coverage. Without adults, the walkout on March 14 would have been nothing. It wouldn't have happened.

This wouldn't even be a problem if people weren't blaming adults for being retroactive in regards to gun control. But they are. Liberals are saying that children are more grown-up than most adults, simply because they decided to skip school for 17 minutes. Yes, there are certainly children who really do want gun control, but I have a bad feeling that the majority of them participated in the walkout because they felt pressured by their parents, teachers, and peers. The adults were in full control; the students were just puppets.

If we're going to let kids walk out of the classroom, lose quality learning time, and march for what they're "passionate" about, we better be prepared for it to happen again with issues that are more childish.

Imagine if these same kids organized a walkout to protest the length of the American school day - would they be so smart and mature then?

On a side note, the walkout is going to do nothing politically. The adults have government control, and they'll do what they want. Stay in school, kids, because your opinion does not have an influence, no matter how much mom and dad says it does.

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia

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