100 Things I Would Rather Do Than Vote For Hillary

100 Things I Would Rather Do Than Vote For Hillary

Let Edward Scissorhands give me a back massage.
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In a world full of terrible presidential candidates, there is one who truly reigns supreme. Here is a list of 100 things I would rather do than vote for Hillary Clinton this November.

1. Shave my legs with a chainsaw.

2. Delete my Netflix account.

3. Glue my hands to my feet.

4. Lose my car keys.

5. Throw my laptop down a flight of stairs.

6. Stare at the sun.

7. Brush my teeth with a rock.

8. Eat sushi with only one chopstick.

9. Get stuck in an elevator with Kim Kardashian.

10. Re-take the SAT.

11. Name my first born child "Cucumber".

12. Trade in my iPhone for a flip phone.

13. Let my Dad create my Tinder profile.

14. Shave my head.

15. Read the dictionary.

16. Use sandpaper as toilet paper.

17. Accidentally like my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend's Instagram picture from 2011.

18. Let OJ Simpson show me his knife collection.

19. Get braces again.

20. Inherit our national debt.

21. Eat a handful of bumble bees.

22. Bite into an ice pop.

23. Drink a gallon of mustard.

24. Take Michael Scott to a dinner party.

25. Use vinegar as eye drops.

26. Let Edward Scissorhands give me a back massage.

27. Show my boyfriend my middle school yearbook.

28. Walk on shattered glass.

29. Pet an alligator.

30. Ask Ozzy Osbourne to proofread my English essay.

31. Press * to hear more about the free trip to the Bahamas I won.

32. Invest in Blockbuster stock.

33. Work as a telemarketer.

34. Staple myself to a newspaper.

35. Go for a long drive during rush hour.

36. Bathe in mayonaise.

37. Go to the dentist every day for a month.

38. Carpool to work with the Belcher family.

39. Throw out my childhood stuffed animals.

40. Wear leather underwear.

41. Get kicked off my family's cell phone plan.

42. Move to a nudist colony in Antartica.

43. Put on mascara while riding a roller coaster.

44. Lick a gas station toilet.

45. Makeout with Fetty Wap.

46. Eat an onion like an apple.

47. Marry the guy I went on that really shitty Tinder date with.

48. And have Nickelback come play at our wedding.

49. And honeymoon in Idaho.

50. Pierce my own belly button.

51. Put on jeans after Thanksgiving dinner.

52. Have a permanent Charley Horse in my left leg.

53. Eat a brick.

54. Throw out my brand new Naked palette.

55. Fold a fitted sheet.

56. Learn how to knit.

57. Have an 8:00 a.m. Friday class.

58. Listen to Ross Geller give a lecture on the Paleozoic Era.

59. Have my card get stuck in an ATM.

60. Read Twilight.

61. Swallow a Lego.

62. Photocopy every page of War and Peace.

63. Never eat cheese again.

64. Write my senior thesis using T9 Word.

65. Give birth to quintuplets.

66. Let a mosquito bite me in the ear.

67. Only listen to N'Sync for the rest of my life.

68. Give myself a paper cut between all of my fingers.

69. Read 50 Shades of Grey to my grandmother.

70. Snort baby formula.

71. Share a taxi with the Dance Moms.

72. Fall passionately in love with a toaster.

73. Peel a potato with a toothpick.

74. Always have wet nails.

75. Develop a pizza allergy.

76. Eat hospital food every day.

77. Trade in my skinny jeans for gauchos.

78. Get lost in a corn maze.

79. Drop a bucket of sprinkles and then clean it up.

80. Go on a picnic with Rosie O'Donnell.

81. Drink my liquid foundation with a straw.

82. Listen to a Pandora commercial after every song.

83. Never connect to WiFi again.

84. Road-trip cross country in a Volkswagen Beetle.

85. Cough up a lung.

86. Wear a GAP sweatshirt.

87. Never wash my sheets again.

88. Breathe through a pool noodle for the rest of my life.

89. Eat gluten free for fun.

90. Assemble IKEA furniture.

91. Never be able to scratch another itch.

92. Only wear shoes that are one size too small.

93. Be an Uber driver.

94. Get banned from my local Chipotle.

95. Have pinkies for thumbs.

96. Invite my boss to play Farmville on Facebook.

97. Moisturize my face with hot sauce.

98. Eat leftover salad.

99. Have Nicholas Cage narrate my dreams.

100. Drink Pepsi instead of Coke.

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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Why The Idea Of 'No Politics At The Dinner Table' Takes Place And Why We Should Avoid It

When did having a dialogue become so rare?

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Why has the art of civilized debate and conversation become unheard of in daily life? Why is it considered impolite to talk politics with coworkers and friends? Expressing ideas and discussing different opinions should not be looked down upon.

I have a few ideas as to why this is our current societal norm.

1. Politics is personal.

Your politics can reveal a lot about who you are. Expressing these (sometimes controversial) opinions may put you in a vulnerable position. It is possible for people to draw unfair conclusions from one viewpoint you hold. This fosters a fear of judgment when it comes to our political beliefs.

Regardless of where you lie on the spectrum of political belief, there is a world of assumption that goes along with any opinion. People have a growing concern that others won't hear them out based on one belief.

As if a single opinion could tell you all that you should know about someone. Do your political opinions reflect who you are as a person? Does it reflect your hobbies? Your past?

The question becomes "are your politics indicative enough of who you are as a person to warrant a complete judgment?"

Personally, I do not think you would even scratch the surface of who I am just from knowing my political identification.

2. People are impolite.

The politics themselves are not impolite. But many people who wield passionate, political opinion act impolite and rude when it comes to those who disagree.

The avoidance of this topic among friends, family, acquaintances and just in general, is out of a desire to 'keep the peace'. Many people have friends who disagree with them and even family who disagree with them. We justify our silence out of a desire to avoid unpleasant situations.

I will offer this: It might even be better to argue with the ones you love and care about, because they already know who you are aside from your politics, and they love you unconditionally (or at least I would hope).

We should be having these unpleasant conversations. And you know what? They don't even need to be unpleasant! Shouldn't we be capable of debating in a civilized manner? Can't we find common ground?

I attribute the loss of political conversation in daily life to these factors. 'Keeping the peace' isn't an excuse. We should be discussing our opinions constantly and we should be discussing them with those who think differently.

Instead of discouraging political conversation, we should be encouraging kindness and understanding. That's how we will avoid the unpleasantness that these conversations sometimes bring.

By avoiding them altogether, we are doing our youth a disservice because they are not being exposed to government, law, and politics, and they are not learning to deal with people and ideas that they don't agree with.

Next Thanksgiving, talk politics at the table.

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