Friendship is great.

Especially growing up, friendships meant support, social lives, and more importantly, a popping Snapchat story. Unless it didn’t. There were a lot of times growing up that I found friendships to be a stressor as opposed to the best part of my week. So this Valentine’s day, I wanted to thank my friends while offering some advice on what it means to be in a good friendship.

Here are 5 ways to tell you are in a healthy friendship:

1. They support you

This may seem obvious, but it isn’t. There are so many friendships I’ve had where I felt timid about my successes and failures. But friends always support you. The best friends show up or at least try to. They watch your competitions, tell you they’re proud, and comfort you when things don’t go your way. If you ever feel, for valid reasons, like your friends treat your successes as non-important, or not worthy of addressing, they aren’t your friends.

The best friends aren't merely in your corner, they are right beside you, cheering you on obnoxiously.

2. They’ll make time

Because they’re so awesome, a lot of my friends are very busy. Whether it’s new or old friends, they’re exciting about spending time with you and will try their best to make plans. Even if they have to pencil in their schedule weeks in advance, they plan you in.

3. They’ll disagree

If someone always agrees with you, they aren’t your friend. True friends will call you out when you say or do something dumb. Now they won’t attack you, but if people are actually your friend they know their mutual trust allows and forgives blunt honesty.

4. They’re better than you

In some way or another, all of my friends are better than me at something. Because of this (and the fact they’re awesome, helpful people), they always push you to be your best.

Right there is the secret to most of my successes-- I have smarter, fitter, nicer, more religious, friends who are always willing to help me out.

5. You never second guess yourself

I think a lot of times in my not-as-awesome friendships I spent a lot of time wondering what to say. There were “friendships” I had that would leave me constantly wondering if I could say anything about my hopes, fears, or opinions. But the thing about friends is that they care what you have to say, or at least will listen to you regardless of how strange your thoughts are.

They also make you feel included whenever you feel alone. They are the people you call when you feel alone, instead of being a cause of that feeling. Even if a friend forgets or leaves you out, you know enough about your friendship to simply ask. Good friendships are simple and are supposed to add, not take away, from your life. In good friendships, you spend no time wondering and dwelling in anxiety, and more time improving your life.

Thanks friends for being there. If we are very recent friends, if we’re friends who haven’t talked in a while, or if we’ve been friends for years, thank you. For dealing with my crap, laughing at my bad jokes, and so much more.

So thanks to my awesome friends. Happy Valentine’s Day.