We all compare ourselves to each other, sometimes it can become such a regular thing that we forget how to love ourselves and appreciate what we have. These are techniques that I have found helpful when I feel like I need to calm myself and really see things for how they are. Doing these things won't fix everything. It is a practice, self-love isn't easy. But day by day, doing at least one of these things to help you stop, and be mindful of how great you are and your life is, can make all the difference. You are strong, and you deserve to see how amazing you are. You deserve to love yourself.
1. Put the phone down and close your laptop
Ironically, as you're reading this on a screen. The internet and social media are full of beautiful people who pose perfect lives for Instagram and Twitter. But they aren't as great as you think, they have the same problems and insecurities as you and I. So give yourself a break from this perfect online world, for an hour or a day. Do not compare your life to a life you see on a screen. You are perfect just the way you are, and the only person you need to ever compare yourself to, is the person who you were yesterday. You will feel refreshed, anxiety free, and full of appreciation for what's around you rather that on your screen.
2. Take in the compliments you receive
Loved ones give us compliments, that we too often take for granted. Our insecurities and comparisons get in the way of us seeing ourselves how we really are. How everyone who loves us sees us. Any time someone you love compliments your looks, your new blouse, or something quirky about your personality. Remember it, take it in, write it down. Repeat it to yourself in the mirror in the morning. Remind yourself that this is coming from another being, they see you as a beautiful, radiant, human. They have chosen to give you love and time for a reason. You're special, you deserve to see it in yourself.
3. Write down all the good things in your life
Take a mason jar, or an old rinsed out sauce jar. Every day, write down something good that happened no matter how minor. Whether you got a promotion at work or saw a cute dog on the street. Write it down and put it in the jar, whenever you feel like your life isn't all that great, take time to read the pieces of papers of past happiness. Be appreciative of what you have, not what you don't.
4. Inhale in positivity, exhale negativity
Sit in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes. Relax, and control your breathing. Deep breaths, relax yourself. Think of positive comments, about how you want your day to go, reminders of how you want to see yourself. Breathe in, say the phrase, and breathe out the negativity. Remind yourself of how awesome you are, even if you do not believe it. You will feel better watching yourself say these positive words to you. Say things such as "Today is going to be a great day" "I am smart enough, and good enough" "I am in control of my feelings today" You will feel a bit more confident and not feel a need to compare yourself to others. Because you my dear, have told yourself how great you are, and how great today will be!
5. Remember that you are in control
At the end of the day, you are in control of how you see the world around you. How you react to things you see. Next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others, and beating yourself up over it. Just remember that you currently have the choice to keep beating yourself up over it, and feeling bad. Or you can accept the feelings for what they are, and let the feeling fade away while you go treat yourself to something that makes you happy instead. Feelings are OK to feel, don't live in them.
