There is a common understanding that women often have issues with their bodies and with treating themselves with love. It's far too normal for us to beat ourselves up about a poor grade, eating a high-calorie meal, or failing to meet a goal we set for ourselves. Yet we (usually) treat our friends with far more respect and understanding. If our friend fails a test, we don't tell her that she's useless and isn't good at anything. Yet for some reason, this is how most of us talk to ourselves. Here are some of the ways you can treat yourself with the love that you need and deserve.
1. Talk to yourself like you'd talk to a friend.
There is no reason why you should talk to yourself any differently. When you fail a test, remind yourself that there is always next time, and that in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. Remind yourself that you worked hard and that you will continue to do well despite the microscopic setback. Giving positive affirmations like "you're smart" and "you're worth it" seems silly, but literally releases chemicals in your body that will contribute to your level of happiness and self-esteem.
2. Take a walk.
That doesn't mean go to the gym and hit weights or the treadmill. That means walk outside. If it's cold, a short walk around your building is fine. Your body needs love and gentle exercise -- not to burn calories, but to get your energy up and your endorphins running. It's better with a friend.
3. Drink tea or coffee.
Ignore the rules about caffeine. It's OK for you to give yourself a little pick-me-up in the form of a hot cup of joe.
4. Have a snack.
Don't binge, and don't pick a diet snack either. It's OK to snack because you're anxious or sad, as long as you're mindful of the food you're eating. Don't stuff yourself. But having an apple and peanut butter is guaranteed to make your heart feel warmer.
5. Journal or blog.
I'm personally not the biggest fan of journaling because it isn't as cathartic for me as it is for others. However, from what I hear from journal-ers, it is the best therapy next to actual therapy.
6. Buy yourself something that makes you feel beautiful.
Don't base your decision off what someone else tells you. If you find a sweater or jeans that makes you feel confident, don't hesitate to treat yourself.
7. Write or email a friend.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a thoughtful letter or text? It feels great to receive letters from loved ones, and it feels just as great to write those letters. Tell someone how much you love them and why they mean so much to you, and you're guaranteed to feel better. Even if it takes a few tears in the process, you will feel fulfilled.
8. Make a playlist and share it.
Listening to new music or reliving moments with old music is a great way to remind yourself to relax. Also, sharing your favorite music with a friend is helpful, and they will thank you for it. Listening to music will help you organize your thoughts and reframe them in a way that allows you to experience catharsis without speaking harmfully or acting destructively. My personal favorite is Dr. Dog.
9. Call a parent or a sibling.
We may not all have great relationships with our parents, but there is definitely someone in your life who thinks the world of you, and they would be happy to remind you that you're amazing and that you deserve love. Sometimes when I'm feeling destructive or anxious, I give my dad a call and he puts my thoughts in perspective for me.
10. Light a candle.
It's really simple. And aromatherapy is no joke.
11. Watch your favorite movie.
You deserve a break from the stress, and you deserve comfort (and maybe even a little nostalgia). It may not be the happiest of films, but I love "500 Days of Summer."
12. Keep going.
If you're stuck studying or are just having a shitty day, keep moving, keep studying. Ultimately, feelings pass with time. That's not to say to downplay or ignore your feelings, but simply embracing them and allowing them to exist in your mind will ultimately allow for them to disappear.
