The gym: a place some people go to better themselves, get in shape, and live healthier lives. For others, not so much.
1. God I am gonna be so hot.
You walk into the gym, cutest workout clothes on, and unnecessarily large water bottle in hand. You don't know what to expect, but you are ready to conquer the world. You are so pumped to reveal your new body, you just have to actually get it first. Forget paying for your own drinks, with an a** like yours people will be paying just for your company.
2. Why don't I look like that?
God how do they make it look so easy? Do her shorts really have to be that short? How is she just glistening like that, meanwhile I am soaked five minutes in. Crap, this embarrassing. Who does she even think she is? Am I the only one in this room that doesn't look like something out of a fitness magazine. Why am I here?
That guy over there, how is he that big? I didn't think that was possible. He's got to be taking steroids. I bet he eats everything, meanwhile I look at pizza and gain ten pounds. Ugh, life is hard.
3. I'm confused.
How do you even use this thing? Where's the start button? I wonder if people can tell how confused I am right now. Crap, this is so embarrassing. Just act casual. Look around, pretend like your stretching or something. Agh yes! Start button!
What even is this machine? How are you supposed to make your body move like that? How do I even know how much weight to put on? Maybe I should ask someone -- no, that's lame. Everyone is staring. I'll just go with it.
4. I think I am dying.
I can't feel anything. What if I died right here on the spot? Like, why does anyone subject themselves to this torture. Oh my god. Help me, someone. Is this what dying feels like? I didn't even know I was capable of sweating this much. I think I might pass out. I sound like an emphysema patient with all this wheezing. This is terrible. I hate everything.
5. I give up.
