Major depression is one of the most common mental disorders in the United States. Clinical depression is an extremely serious disorder that can ultimately destroy you. While many people are aware of depression, what they are not aware of is how debilitating it is to someone who is coping with it. Depression is the cause of over two-thirds of the 30,000 reported suicides in the United States each year (as reported by the White House Conference on Mental Health). It is a battle that you have to fight yourself because no one quite understands how you're feeling.
Truthfully, you don't really understand it yourself. From personal experience, I have had people try to address my depression in an uneducated manner. Making comments that can be so incredibly hurtful. But, can I really blame them? They don't know how it feels and they don't know what you're going through day to day. So, for the people who can't wrap their minds around depression, here are a few things you should NOT say to someone suffering from it.
1. "What do YOU have to be depressed about?"
This has got to be one of the most insulting things that you could say. You think that because someone smiles every day, has a nice house, and has a loving family that they don't have the right to be depressed? You don't think that they're fighting inner battles that no one knows about? YOU'RE WRONG.
2. "You don't look depressed."
Because how I appear on the outside reflects how I'm feeling on the inside, right? Just because someone gets up every day and puts themselves together doesn't mean they aren't struggling. It probably took everything they had in them to get out of bed and get out of the house.
3. "Happiness is a choice."
So you think it's my CHOICE to feel this way? You think I want to be miserable, feel useless, and cry for days on end for no good reason? Think before you speak. Nobody CHOOSES to be depressed. It is not just in your head, it is throughout your whole body and you have no control.
4. "Everybody has a bad day now and then. You're fine!"
This doesn't just last one day, this lasts weeks, months, years. How dare you compare a "bad day" to my depression. I get it, everyone has bad days every once in a while. However, clinical depression isn't a bad day. Clinical depression is a disorder that can potentially be with you for your whole life.
5. "Cheer up! Smile a little."
This comment is like telling someone with a broken limb to try and use that limb even though they can't. Although it's not intended to be hurtful, it is. This is, again, treating depression as if it is a choice. If it were that easy no one in the world would be suffering from this disorder.
These are just a few things you should not say to someone who is clinically depressed. Depression drains your energy, your hope, and your drive. Be caring, be kind, be understanding. Don't let your perception of depression affect the way you treat someone. Words are hurtful, ignorance is hurtful. Depression is a real disorder, it affects millions of people. Trust me, I know its hard to deal with someone who suffers from this but being insensitive is not going to help. Next time you are dealing with a fragile person please keep these things in mind.
1(800) 273 8255 (National Suicide Prevention Hotline)
