For as long as I can remember, I’ve been overweight. As a child, I consistently ranked in the 98th percentile for height and weight. As a teenager, my hormones changed drastically, causing me to grow two inches and gain 40 pounds in one year – even though I was always active and ate a healthy(ish) diet. I later spiraled out of control during my first semester of college and gained 20 more pounds from a mixture of anxiety, depression, lack of motivation, not really giving a shit, and self-loathing. This sparked a three year stint with “yo-yo dieting,” meaning I would cyclically lose and gain weight.

At the age of 19, hit my highest weight to date. I would go on to drop 30 pounds in less than three months. I did not, however, lose this weight in a healthy way. Like clockwork, I’d eat a heavily restricted vegetarian diet and work out on the elliptical seven days a week, two hours a day. My net calories per day were approximately 400-500 – this is not healthy. I was miserable. When I didn’t lose even a pound in a day – A DAY – I began practicing even more restrictive eating habits: No carbs, no cheese, no meat, no snacks except plain almonds and rice cakes, skipping breakfast and no liquids except water. After losing all the weight, my IDGAF about dieting ideology returned, and I began eating regular Taco Bell and bingeing on pasta, pizza, and never exercising. I ended up gaining nearly 20 pounds back.

Yet, here we are three years later. Now that I’ve graduated from college and over the idea of putting myself through hell just to lose a few pounds, I decided it’s time to truly take my health seriously without torturing myself. Since July, I’ve lost more than 20 pounds following the Weight Watchers plan and exercising regularly (or, as often as I can). If you’d like to read about what I typically eat in a day, click here.

I’ve learnt a lot in this time; so, I decided to share this with the Internet. Enjoy.

1. The number on the scale and the mirror might contradict each other.

Point 1A of this section: the number on the scale will never accurately represent your progress.

Barry Sears, the creator of the Zone Diet, said you should always go by how your clothes fit versus what the scale says. Even though I’m on the Weight Watchers diet and the scale is used to measure your quantitative weight lost, it does not measure your qualitative. A “quality” weight loss progression is measured in a steady decline; even if that decline is minimal. Some weeks, I lose more than two pounds. Other weeks, I lose less than a pound. But, seeing pictures of myself from a few months ago and looking at myself today provides me with a visual progression. Sure, I look at myself and think, “Have I really lost 20 pounds?” because my internalized appearance anxiety conditions me to only see myself as heavy when really, the shape of my body isn’t the most important thing. What’s important is feeling good about myself.

2. Weight loss DOES NOT happen overnight, despite what diet companies try to advertise to you.

“Lose up to 10 POUNDS in ONE WEEK eating like this celebrity who has access to expensive diet and workout plans!”
“Drink SlimFasts and eat protein bars on this new special restrictive diet and feel SAD because you DIDN’T lose 80 pounds in two and a half days like this one model we photoshopped since these results aren’t typical!”
“Wear this belt with special magnets to CHARGE your weight loss even though it’s just a glorified girdle!”
“Buy this shape wear to hide those HIDEOUS lumps and bumps that scare children but you won’t look like the mannequin with an ideal body type modeling it for you at Macy’s!”

THIS is the crap that companies need to STOP DOING. Our society is very fatphobic and sexist, and those two often intersect. People with female-looking bodies are told via magazines, commercials, infomercials, internet articles, etc. that having a size in the double digits will kill you. Newsflash, there’s nothing inherently wrong with being on the heavier side, especially if you can’t control it. Some women feel hot AF in their larger bodies; some want to lose weight to feel hot AF. We need to stop advertising to women that they can lose astronomical amounts of weight in a short period of time in order to be worth something in society.

I, personally, do not lose weight as fast as I gain. Slowly, I am training myself to focus on eating what I like but within reason. There’s a reason why it’s called a weight loss JOURNEY – it takes TIME. My weight loss is a personal thing that I’m committed to. It is not meant to be a quick change. It’s meant to be a life-long change.

3. Finding a plan that works best for you is 100 percent trial and error.

Low carb. High carb. Portion control. High protein. Calories in, calories out. Diet pills. Gyms. Atkins. Weight Watchers. MyFitnessPal. Zone. SlimFast. Nutrisystem. 21 Day Fix. No sugar. Fat free. High fat. White foods are the devil. Juice cleanses. Smoothie fasts. Fully raw. Whole 30. Paleo. Cardio. Weight lifting … there are probably more diet plans than people on this Earth.

I’ve probably tried just about every diet I could get my hands on. Low carb didn’t work for me because going without pasta made me sad and irrationally angry all the time. MyFitnessPal didn’t work for me because I became too addicted to it. Dropping added sugar cold turkey caused me to develop monster-like cravings.

As of now, I eat a pescetarian diet that is 80 percent plant-based and 20 percent standard American diet under the guise of the Weight Watchers SmartPoints® plan. I’m allotted 30 daily points and 35 weekly points. I use MyFitnessPal exclusively to track my macros and exercise. I am adamant about averaging 8,000-10,000 steps every day. This has been the most successful plan in my life thus far because it holds me accountable for my good and bad choices. But, it might not work for everyone.

If you’re considering a weight loss journey for whatever reason, don’t sacrifice too much of your happiness to lose the weight. Like I said, there are more diet plans than people on this Earth (probably), and everyone’s body is different. Happiness accounts for a large portion of a difficult journey like this.

4. You can still eat stuff you like and have a steady loss every week.

If only someone told me this three years ago.

Healthy swaps account for a large portion of my diet as I try to stick to my 30 allotted points every day. However, sometimes we get addicted to losing weight that we often forget to treat ourselves once in a while. Regardless of what we’re conditioned to believe with weight loss, treating yourself is ABSOLUTELY OKAY, as long as you do it reasonably. Just this past week I went out to lunch at this French bakery in Georgetown. My mouth watered as I noticed my true weakness: macarons. Since Weight Watchers has taught me to live a little and not obsess over every last point I consume, I ordered a light salad and treated myself to a macaron. Guess what? I still managed to lose nearly a pound and a half that week. I now know what the proper portion size is. American restaurants are infamous for oversized portions, which has led to home cooked meals resembling these indulgent amounts. Portion control has taught me to eat until I’m satisfied, not full, and therefore allow some flexibility for treats. To be honest, I feel better than ever with this outlook.

5. Don’t feel ashamed to love yourself BEFORE you get to your ideal weight.

In my head, I’ll probably never fully love myself. However, I used to believe that all my appearance anxiety/body dysmorphia would magically disappear if I got “skinny.” That shit just isn’t realistic. Weight loss, to me, is 95 percent confidence and 5 percent will power. But I’m not about to lie to myself and think this is a smooth ride and I’ll instantly be happy. This is a personal journey. I don’t need anyone’s permission or validation to love myself and my body. I’ll never stop this plan I’m on because I’m a happier, more confident me. And that, truly, is the best result of my weight loss.

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* None of the images used in this article are owned by me.