People always told me High School would be the best four years of my life. THEY LIED! High School was anything but the best. I struggled so much. I struggled academically, socially, and mentally. My self esteem dropped so low, I didn't even want to go to school because I was uncomfortable with myself. Looking back on it now, a lot of what I was worried about wasn't important. The people I was stressing over aren't even in my life anymore. If I had a chance to talk to my High School self, this is what I'd tell her:
1. It’s Okay To Fail.
I remember studying for days on end for regents. I remember losing sleep over these test. I also remember failing and how awful I felt. It’s okay to fail sometimes, I know it may seem like the end of the world but, you have to fail to succeed. It’s a part of life. It doesn’t make you stupid or inferior to other students. Don’t beat yourself up over it, it’s only preparing you for the future.
2. Things are only as big as you make them.
If you don’t act like it was a big deal, then no one would notice. Nine times out of ten, no one noticed, they were all too busy with their own lives to care. Plus, it’s high school, a few years from now you’ll look back and either not care, or just laugh about it. IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS. Trust me, you're going to make a lot of mistakes throughout High School and College and for the rest of your life. It's time to learn to brush it off or laugh at it.
3. That boy doesn’t love you.
If I could only tell you one thing, it’d be this. He doesn’t love you. No one who really loved you would put you down on a daily basis. They wouldn’t tell you how worthless you are, they wouldn’t tell you to go end your life. He doesn’t love you, he probably never did and never will. It’s okay. Boys come and go from your life. Please, stop crying and stop losing sleep over him. He isn't coming back to you and that's a good thing. Focus on yourself and your schoolwork. You'll make it through this. Wipe your tears, get some sleep and don’t let anyone treat you less than what you're worth.
4.Love yourself.
I know that High School was a rough time with learning how to be comfortable with yourself. I wish I loved you more. I wished I loved you enough at that time to tell you skipping lunch every day wasn’t going to make you skinnier. Instead, it just made you feel dizzy for the rest of the day, it made it harder to focus in class. I wished I loved you enough to tell you that every inch of you is beautiful. Every beauty mark to every stretch mark made you beautiful. I wished I loved you enough to not hide you behind baggy clothing. I wished I had enough love for you to tell you it's okay not to look like the girls in the magazines. To tell you that those girls aren't real. I wish I told you that the likes on instagram mean nothing in the real world and to stop editing and filtering your "flaws" out. Those "flaws" are what make you beautiful. One day someone will find your big thighs and basic brown eyes amazing. Stop trying to alter yourself to fit in with everyone.
5. Breathe
I understand it may seem that everything is happening at once. I know it feels overwhelming. Just take a deep breath and tackle things one at a time. You will achieve everything you put your mind too. You just have to breathe and take everything one step at a time. Everything will be okay. You will be okay. Say it with me: You'll be okay.
