We've all heard the term before. "I have a huge test tomorrow, I'm so anxious." "I'm having anxiety about my date tomorrow." And practically whatever else you can think of. While many people may experience extreme cases of being nervous, having generalized anxiety disorder is a completely separate experience. In many cases, it hinders people from experiencing normal, everyday lives with their friends. For those of you who don't suffer from anxiety, here's five things your friends who battle this everyday want you to know.
Going out with people on a Friday night just isn't easy.
I get it. Friday and Saturday nights are prime time to just go out and have some fun after a long week of schoolwork or even just regular work. While anxiety sufferers would love to sit back and relax on the weekends, that possibility just simply isn't in the cards for them. Instead, the thought of going out could actually cause them to lose sight of the idea of having a good time and send them into extreme bouts of panic. They'll stress about what to wear, who's going to be there, and even what to eat or drink because they'll be convinced that people will consistently watch them. It may seem like a harmless night with the possibility for tons of fun, but for some people it just causes more stress. Especially when you keep asking them about going out.
They constantly straddle the fine line of wanting attention and never wanting to be looked at again.
Sometimes attention is just a necessary means of survival. They need it. They crave it. They can't go another minute without it because that's the only thing that tells them they're doing the right thing. Otherwise, they're constantly thinking they did something wrong. While this attention can be vital, there are other times when receiving attention is the equivalent of wanting to die on the spot. Think of it this way, the teacher calls on you in the class that you have no idea what's going on in and you get the question wrong. Suddenly you want to just "go to the bathroom" and never return. Receiving attention at times feels exactly like this where they don't want to go on another moment. Learning the difference between these needs will make all the difference.
New friends sound great, but talking to them...not so much.
More than anything, they want to feel like they belong. They want to know they have people in their corner for when and if things get bad. However, the idea of approaching new people and actually talking to them for more than 2 seconds is enough to make their hearts beat at a million miles an hour. Even though most people can say "hey" and treat it like a normal conversation they would have with anyone, they feel the need to analyze the situation and plan out what could possibly happen from here on out. While they will always appreciate how you introduce them to your friends in your sorority or the people you get lunch with before bio every Tuesday, sometimes it isn't as easy as just saying "hi" and being themselves.
Thoughts and feelings often have their own agenda without any warning.
It's Saturday night and you guys planned to head downtown for the night with a bunch of friends you've been hanging out with all semester. Suddenly your friend is curled up in a ball on her bed, immobile because life came crashing down on her without any warning. Please don't ever think this is your friend's way of getting out of going out with everyone on a Saturday night, because it is the exact opposite. Finally, she gained the courage and confidence to make plans to go out and just have fun but her thoughts and feelings had their own plans for the night. Instead of making her feel guilty about missing a night out, why don't you stay in with her and watch a movie and help her overcome the unwanted agenda of the night? Yeah, going downtown may have been more fun but in all reality you could have just saved your friend from herself.
Reassurance is necessary for survival.
Whether it be relationships or simple friendships, those with anxiety will constantly look for reassurance in all forms for the duration of the time you maintain your relationship. This helps them understand that they are not a burden in your life, however, they are a blessing that you cherish daily. Unfortunately, without these simple bouts of reassurance, many feel that they hinder others' lives and they simply cannot maintain a stable relationship with anyone because of those feelings. Yes, consistently telling someone how much they mean to you can become annoying and overbearing overtime. But it will make all the difference, and could even save your friend from accidentally ruining a relationship that was actually incredibly important in her life.
So while these things can be annoying (those with anxiety think they're annoying too), just remember these things that make or break your friends' lives.
