As I awoke this morning to yet another text message and voicemail from Campus Safety, I can’t help but feel immensely saddened, confused, and, most of all, annoyed. Last night, in case you don’t get Campo alerts and/or live under a rock, yet another woman was sexually assaulted near DU's Campus. Since there seems to be some confusion regarding when it is and isn’t appropriate to fondle someone, learn these 5 steps and you’ll be a successfully, consensual fondler!

1. Understand the Term ‘Sexual Assault'

Before you can get to fondling, it’s important that you understand the term ‘sexual assault' now before you accidentally do sexually assault:

Sexual Assault (n): any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexualassault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape.

Forced fondling sucks and the Department of Justice agrees. Information, resources and other facts regarding sexual assault can be found here.

2. Understand the Term 'Consent'

“Consent is a voluntary, mutual agreement. It’s informed, sober, honest, clear and involves the word “yes” from each person involved. That means there’s discussion and clear communication,” (CAPE)

As someone who was an orientation leader, I highly suggest watching this video.

3. Get consent

“Hey, can I fondle you?” I said in a low voice.

“Hell yes!” Bae responded, cheerfully.

***DO NOT GET TO FONDLING IF THEY SAY NO ***

4. Understanding why someone does not want to be fondled

It doesn't matter why they don't want to be fondled, it's only important that you DON'T fondle them and DON'T pressure them into being fondled by you.

A person minding their own business, walking down the street late at night does not want to be fondled by you. A person wearing revealing clothing does not want to be fondled by you. An unconscious person does not want to be fondled by you. A drunk person cannot consent to being fondled by you therefore they do not want to be fondled by you. A person at C&G does not want to be fondled by you and neither does a person at the Border. A person at the party you’re attending does not want to be fondled by you. The person you’re sleeping with doesn’t even want to be fondled by you unless they say so.

5. Achieve Success!

(not getting charged for sexual assault or doing all the fondling)