Looking back to my first semester of college, I was many things: scared, anxious, awkward, worried, socially inept, but ready to break up with my boyfriend of a year and a half was not one of them. He did not see it that way though. A few weeks into the semester I got a phone call saying I can’t do this, it’s over (or something along those lines). I went to high school with this kid, worked with him and went to the gym with him. We were attached at the hip, (looking back I scoff) so needless to say, I was devastated.
In the days, well weeks, that followed, I thought about everything and anything I could do to be with him again, everything I did wrong and the things I knew I could fix if we could just be together again. I held onto the sentiment that he said someday we would be together again. I neglected to see that it takes two people to form a healthy well-rounded relationship.
My mom was there for me so much during this time and I don’t know what I would have done without her support. I called her as soon as I hung up the phone at 2 a.m. and still got an answer. She told me it would be okay over and over and eventually, I believed her and felt okay. I wish I had realized that sooner.
To be honest, I am so thankful to have experienced a seemingly irreparable broken heart early in my college experience.
1. It ripped me out of my comfort zone.
It forced me to get off the phone with him and stop going home on the weekends (eventually) and reach out to my roommates, hallmates and teammates.
2. I had a much better social life.
I gained so many friends and experienced so many more social situations because I did not have a boyfriend close to 100 miles away holding me back in any way.
3. I learned that I can hit an emotional rock bottom and be okay.
It might sound dramatic but I felt terrible after this situation. It was like nothing could fix how I was feeling and I was going to be stuck in this broken-hearted state forever, or so my little freshman self thought. In a couple of months, I stopped analyzing and thinking and hoping he would call or text to take me back. It wasn’t constantly in my head and I started enjoying things again and forming awesome bonds with other people.
4. This break up also taught me to try and be gentle when ending things with other people.
I’m no heart-breaker, but with the things I felt during that break up, I know how bad it feels. I don’t want someone I care about to go through a similar situation even if I’m breaking it off with them.
5. I was able to embrace change.
One of the most important reasons I’m thankful for my freshman year heart break is because if I had been in the relationship and continued it, there would be a completely different course of events. Indirectly, this break-up allowed for a chain of events to happen to bring me to my boyfriend now, for whom I am super thankful.
For anyone who is experiencing a break-up, I know these words probably won’t make anything better right now. My only hope would be that in time you’re able to look back on the situation and learn a few things and maybe even have reason to be thankful!
