There are about a million different things that I have learned in my senior year of college, and just like you, I've probably felt a million different emotions over things that seem monumental and so irrelevant five minutes later. Welcome to your 20's, right?
According to the rest of the world you should be entirely educated on whatever you decided to pick as your major, as well as knowing life things such as doing your taxes, changing your oil, and opting out of that third drink at the bar on a Tuesday night. Let me tell you something: what I know about my major majorly came from learning directly from other people and genuinely listening to my professors when they told stories about their own lives. Believe it or not, there's this great website called TurboTax that a 12-year-old could figure out when it comes to taxes, and shockingly, learning how to change oil is not nearly as awful is it sounds.
The thing no one tells you how to handle is heartbreak. Weird, how something so prevalent to most 20-somethings can be so overlooked until it's quite literally the phone call you never wanted to receive or the one text you wish your phone hadn't gotten. What blows my mind is that we spend so much of our college lives drinking away any type of feeling we have and compete with each other to care less because that's what everyone else is doing. It is unfortunately one of the few horrors that come with being a millennial.
I won't bore you with my personal fairytale that ended up in the all too familiar “thing" we all have with a guy at some point. I'm going to tell you about what made it incredibly worse and then prevailed as the best realization I've had in my 22 years of life. Let me make this crystal clear for all of you girls who endlessly scroll through Elite Daily, Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram or whatever else, looking for some type of opinion piece that screams “Oh my god! This is my whole life."
Guess what? The way you feel is the way half of the girls in your demographic feel. Entirely consumed with defeat that your year-long relationship ended, torn between the endless hate and self-realization that you are so much better than letting a guy control your emotions.
A year ago today, I was sitting on a plane flying 3,000 miles from home because my heart was so broken I didn't think I was ever going to be the same again. The love of my life decided he wasn't “ready" for something that proved to be as all consuming and serious as it was. The truth? I'm not the same.
What I can tell you is that as annoying as it is, no matter how big the love was that you had, it is over and it is okay. Please do not make the mistake that I did (most likely you will, but hear me out) and take the time to be sad, and for the love of God, please don't become the person who broke your heart. If there is one thing I wish I didn't do, it is just that. I thought that if I was enough like him or took on his mindset then we would stick around each other long enough to eventually work out because you never know, right?
Plot twist: you do know and you are making every excuse to hold on longer than you need to. Holding on longer than you can mentally handle because let me tell you, that sh*t eats at you. You end up becoming someone you don't recognize. Suddenly you're the person who doesn't want any form of commitment, you're the person who ridicules couples who are constantly with one another, you're the person who is partying more often than not, you are the person who is afraid of something good. I wish someone would have woken me up sooner, I wish someone would have said “Hey. HEY. Enough."
Realistically, it took me about six months to see what I had become. The reason that guy fell in love with you in the first place is because you believed in caring, you believed in being yourself, you believed in him. Truthfully, girls like you are so rare. So many girls were never lucky enough to experience a love like that, a love that tears you apart, opens up your soul, and allows growth and knowledge to expand so fast you have no idea what hit you until it's over; a love worth mourning. Some people search a lifetime for that type of love. What it comes down to is, I need you to do me a favor and realize that the monumental, all consuming, irrevocable love you had is one you can give, and tell me that wasn't the time of your life. Don't give the same person who broke you the power to hurt you again. Give someone else the chance to feel the love that you have to give yourself. Give yourself a chance to realize the exponential amount of love you have for yourself.
