No matter what college you attend, the formula for
parties remains the same. There are certain things that you’ll see at just
about any party.
1. People trying to DJ: Everyone is convinced that they’re playlist is the best one for the party. One second you’re listening to "Fetty Wap," and then somebody puts on "Stacy’s mom." Hide the aux cord.
2. People posted up in everyone’s way: All the wall space in a house, and some people still feel that a doorway, or a staircase is the best place to stand.
3. Sweaty people: Let too many people flow in and the house becomes a sauna. Bring an extra shirt.
4. People asking for rides back: People will offer to sell their own soul in order to get back home. Sometimes going to a party is worth risking a walk back to campus or paying for an overpriced uber.
5. Chris Brown imitators: They say the key to dancing is having confidence, but that confidence can definitely get out of hand. Sometimes you need people who can’t dance around so you’ll look that much better.
6. Girl in packs: For unknown reasons, girls often stick to a squad of no less than four on average. This makes hitting on them much more difficult. You’ll basically have to spit game that’s good enough for everyone in the group.
7. People taking pong too seriously: It’s hard to believe that with all the excitement of a party going on, some people are only concerned with being next at the table.
8. People getting sick:They swear they’re “all good” even as they’re passed out on the couch or throwing up in the back of your car.
9. Destruction of property: Being around other people’s stuff, suddenly makes guests want to break things, and punch defenseless walls.
10. A fight: Parties can bring out the violent side in people. If only they would take it outside.
11. Interrogations: WHO DO YOU KNOW HERE? Party hosts sure are picky when it comes to the people in their house. They’d never do anything like open their house to hundreds of college aged strangers to wander around freely. That would be crazy.
12. Badly parked cars: If you don’t want the party broken up, you can’t just park anywhere. Usually people are told to park out of site. People actually park in the following areas: the middle of the street, in the neighbor’s driveway, on the neighbor’s lawn, etc.
13. Some dude getting rejected: The pressure is on for the guy to make the first move, and it can go pretty badly. Even though we’ve all been here, it’s hard to resist laughing.
