As a Republican I believe that Donald John Trump is the clear choice for president. Ted Cruz and John Kasich agree otherwise they wouldn't have dropped out of the race. Trump is loud. He means business and he will get the job done. Here are the top five reasons why I support his campaign.
1. He's a successful businessman.
Anything that Donald Trump touches is deemed a success. Have you heard of Trump Steaks™, Trump Airlines or Trump University? Probably not cause only the rich can afford it. He's so successful that only those that can afford his products have ever heard of them or seen them. Next, we're going to have Trump White House, and only an elite few will be invited to it. No more black (questionably Muslim) children from Hawaii earning a law degree from an Ivy League school will qualify for this job. We don't want poor people in office who have had to work every day of their life. We want trust fund babies who have always had money. How else will they know how to take care of the deficit?
2. He speaks his mind.
Donald Trumps says it likes it is. There's no pussyfooting around. He doesn't like Mexican immigrants until it's Cinco de Mayo, but honestly who hates Mexican food? I wish there was some way to keep the food but leave the Mexicans. That's why his wall is perfect. It blocks out all the Mexicans from coming over and taking our jobs. Sure they pay 11.8 billion in taxes, but who cares. They can take themselves and their 11.8 billion dollars to the other side of the border cause their Mexican money will ruin our economy...but not their tacos.
3. He'll make America great again.
Do you remember the time when black lives and bathrooms didn't matter? Oppressed people were quiet about their oppression, and they silently suffered in their sorrow. Ah. Great times. Let's bring that back again. Let's make America great again. At least then women will stop competing with men, and they will go back to their kitchens and bleed all over the bathroom. I'm looking at you Hillary Clinton. I'm not sure how women or their bodies work, but I'm sure it's involves a lot of gross stuff and blood until they die. That's why men are the only rational people to hold the position of president. They're also rational enough to police women's bodies cause women don't know what they're doing with them. Who cares if Trump is not qualified to do either? He's a man. He's qualified enough.
4. Trump = America
Trump is everything we want America to be: successful, outspoken and great. He also has a hot wife, a large penis and a nice bank account. He must be doing something right. Just imagine having his hot wife next to him when he makes his speeches. It'll be much better than seeing Michelle Obama and her man arms. I don't know. There's something about seeing a woman work out and have a law degree from an Ivy League that makes me want to demonize her. It makes me question the fragile notion of masculinity because only men can work out and be smart. Women belong in the kitchen, not the Oval Office.
Also Donald Trump is the epitome of the American Dream. Rags to riches. Who cares if he inherited his wealth? I'm sure when he's president he'll tell all of us poor folks his secret to success, and we'll all be successful. Trickle-down economics. That's how that works, right?
5. Trump cares about the little people
Trump is the only one addressing the real issues at play: immigration, the national deficit and foreign affairs. As a working class person who have never left the United States, these are the issues that are the most important to me. I don't care about health care or education or things like that. I can't even afford that stuff, and since I'm doing fine without both, everyone else will be fine as well. I care about the real issues. I care about Mexicans paying a portion of $11.8 billion to our government. We didn't ask them to do that. I care about Sharia law that I heard about on Fox News. ISIS is trying to persecute Christians. Although most of their victims are Muslims in the Middle East, I'm pretty sure it's a matter of time before they come over to the US and behead us. Fox News warned me about it.
America needs Donald Trump. We have all lost our ability to speak out minds and be culturally insensitive. As the old saying goes, "Do harm to others before they do harm to you." As a person who fears change and different people, I want to live in a time where I don't feel bad about hurting other people's feeling or not understanding gender identity. I want to live in ignorant bliss. We need Trump because he'll bring back my right to do so. We need him because black people have gotten way too advanced. First the presidency and now the $20 bill. Slow down. I didn't even vote for Obama so a black man ain't my president. Only another white man will fix the blemish Obama left in the line of middle-aged white male presidents. Only Trump will restore this white supremacist capitalist homophobic ablest patriarchal land by reigning over it. Only Trump can Make America Great Again.
