Being in a long distance relationship in college is tough. The very first day of my freshman year, someone told me that I wasn't even going to be able to make it through two weeks before either cheating on or breaking up with my boyfriend. It was far from the first and certainly not the last time that someone had said that to me, but that doesn't mean that it hurts any less the more you hear it. No matter how strong your relationship is, hearing that someone else expects it to fail can make you doubt yourself. But then you get a text or look at a picture and you're reminded why you put yourself through this. There are going to be ups and downs to any relationship and that's no different for long distance ones.
1. Pro: Being apart really does make seeing each other again so much sweeter.
Of course you would give anything to see them every day if you could, but when you don't get that luxury, you learn to make the days or weeks that you do get to see them really count. And whether that means staying in bed in your pajamas all day or dressing up and going out to a fancy dinner, you know that those memories are going to hold you overuntil the next weekend visit or long break, so you always make the most of it.
2. Con: You miss out on a lot of each others' lives.
You can only learn so much about a person through FaceTime and texts. When you're in a regular relationship, it's easy to take the little things for granted, like seeing them smile when you make a dumb joke or when they point out something that makes them happy or sad in passing. It can be sad when you're finally together again and you had no idea that they'd developed a dislike for strawberries when you used to be able to know their order almost as well as your own.
3. Pro: Having your own friends and your own time.
Sure, it's fun when you know that your significant other's friend group considers you one of their own, but everyone needs their privacy. One of the things I was most grateful for was being able to live my life and have my own experiences and then get to share those with my boyfriend. I never had to worry about choosing him over my friends or visa versa, and since he's a year younger than me, the distance gave us the opportunity to grow into ourselves and have our own identities in college, instead of being "that person's boyfriend/girlfriend".
4. Con: Jealousy.
The thing that everyone assumes is the hardest part of being apart - and they're not wrong, it is hard. But a little bit of jealousy is natural and healthy, just as long as you don't let it consume you. As a naturally jealous and somewhat clingy person, knowing that other people (and other girls especially) get to spend time with my boyfriend when I'm three hours away is really difficult. But knowing that you trust someone and more importantly, love them, is the best way to grow out of being irrationally jealous and overall, helps you mature as a human person.
5. Pro: Knowing that it's all going to work out how it's supposed to.
Unlike regular couples, with long distance, it's nearly impossible to fall into a routine. You're always planning creative ways to see each other, to spend time together and you're always, always fighting for your relationship. Long distance is hard, and it hurts, but knowing that you've been through so much with your other half gives you the confidence to keep going another day, another week, another month, until you're together again.
So yes, maybe my relationship has a higher chance of failure and yes, maybe I have to try harder than someone whose significant other lives right next door, but just like every other relationship, it's worth it.
