My 5 Principles Of Dating That Make Me Weird

My 5 Principles Of Dating That Make Me Weird

Call me crazy, but I've broken up with society's beliefs about relationships.
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A year ago, I began dating my best friend. It’s been an incredible year, full of a lot of growth. I’ve definitely learned a lot about relationships and communication and love and God. I’ve also learned that my dating principles look a bit weird to the rest of the world. That’s okay. My standards are not based in societal norms. They’re based in something far more powerful, my faith.

Focus on God first. This has become my mantra. God first, always, no matter what. This isn’t just a dating thing, but it plays a huge part in it. If my heart is in the right place, focused on my creator, than my actions will line up with what he wants for my life. His plan is perfect, but I’m not. I want to give into my flesh. I am selfish and proud. My heart loves to wander. It’s been really, really hard to not let my boyfriend become my focus. I love him, don’t get me wrong. I love him a lot. But he can never satisfy me. Our relationship, no matter how great it might be, can never satisfy. He will fail me over and over again, just like I will continually fail him. Because I’m not perfect. But God is, so I’m putting my ultimate trust and love and focus in him.

Dating is for marriage. I am dating my boyfriend because I want to marry him. There’s really no other reason to date someone. Seriously. Dating is purely to find the person you’re going to marry. It’s fun and exciting, sure, but you shouldn’t date for those reasons. You should date to pursue a relationship with someone who you think might be a potential partner through the rest of your life. If you’re dating for any other reason, than you’re setting yourself (and your significant other) up for disappointment and heart ache because you’re building and investing in a relationship you don’t intend to last.

Don’t date someone who doesn’t share your beliefs. 2 Corinthians 6:14 puts it pretty clearly, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” If God is my ultimate focus, how can I be deeply tied to someone who isn’t striving for that same focus? Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived. His focus was on God, but when he yoked himself to many wives who didn’t share his belief system, his heart was swayed. If the wisest man who ever lived was swayed by his relationships, than I know I can be too. Thankfully, my boyfriend is a wonderful man who loves God more than he loves me. Because of that, I know that when I falter in my focus on God, I’m going to have someone to encourage and support me, not drag me further away.

Remain pure. This is a big one that our world doesn’t get. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, we set up physical boundaries that we wanted to hold to. We promised each other and God that we would remain virgins until we are married. That, I know, is very contrary to the world’s view on relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in full belief that sex is a great thing, but I’m also in full belief that it’s something meant for marriage, not dating. Sex was created by God to join a husband and wife as one. It’s meant for unity and reproduction, two things that are not intended to occur before marriage. Mark 10:6-9 says “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” It is only after that binding vow of marriage that sex, the two becoming one, is supposed to occur. My boyfriend and I are holding to that, but I know there are many Christians who have not. And that’s okay. It’s not an unforgivable sin. It’s a mistake, but we’re wired to desire that kind of connection. So when our focus isn’t on God, that temptation can take control. There’s forgiveness when we mess up. And thank goodness, because we all mess up.

Divorce is not an option. In the United States, roughly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. That’s half. Half. That’s a daunting number. But it also reflects a society that has its focus in the wrong place. There are Biblical reasons for divorce, such as abuse and adultery. However, simply calling it quits because of boredom or unhappiness would be selfishly breaking a vow made before God. I’m dating my boyfriend with the intention of marrying him and committing to that. So one day, when I say “I do,” I’m going to mean it. There’s no going back, there’s no re-dos. I’m not taking that vow lightly, so that means I can’t take dating lightly either.

Dating is not easy. It’s certainly a challenging growing experience that has taught me so many things I could never fully explain in one article. Ultimately it has taught me to trust and follow God with all my being for no one but him can fulfill or satisfy. With him as my focus, my guide, my Father, I can face not only the terrifying world of relationships, but also everything else this broken world has to offer.

Cover Image Credit: http://augxxi.com

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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To The Ex Who Won’t Move On, It’s Time To Let Go

Moving on is hard, but it’s time for you to realize I’m gone.

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It's been a year. It's been 365 days since I left you. I was ready for a change. Our relationship was unhealthy and very toxic. We argued constantly. You were very controlling, and it was time to end it. You knew you were the issue in the relationship and you knew what needed to be fixed.

You couldn't change.

After figuring out I couldn't live the rest of my life unhappy, I left. It was hard no doubt. We had good memories, but the bad outweighed the good. You never appreciated me. You weren't loyal to me and I never understand why. You always made me feel as if I was never enough.

I finally left you. You couldn't accept the fact that I was done. I told you I discovered my self-worth and you were angry. You didn't want to see me go. You called and texted me for weeks.

I ignored you.

You were so mad because I was finally done. You had convinced yourself that I would come back but little did you know, I wouldn't. You called and texted daily. You even called my job. You didn't understand. I could no longer listen to ongoing insults and constant accusations. I had enough of it.

When I didn't respond to your calls and texts, you began using text apps and calling me from restricted. You wouldn't stop. When you found out I moved on, it got worse. I begged you to stop and you wouldn't. I finally stopped responding. You still continue to try to contact me.

I need you to move on. I want to put everything behind us. I want you to go out and find someone to make you happy. I need you to realize you and I are over. I want you to move on like I did. I am happy now and I don't need you ruining that. To my ex who is struggling to move on, it's time to let go and move on.

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