Last week I talked about the reasons why you probably won’t become a millionaire. If you have read it, I’m probably not your favorite person in the world right now, and if you haven’t, the article can be found here.

This week, I want to give you a light of positivity unlike many of my other articles. I will be sharing some of the life tips I learned along the way that have helped me tremendously in realizing my own identity and asserting myself into doing somethings much greater that I had ever expected. Some of these skills have affected my life in the most unforeseeable ways and it has ultimately changed the course of my life.

Now you’re probably wondering, “why in the heck should I listen to life advice given by some kid I don’t even know?” and “what are his credentials?”

Truth is that I’m not a millionaire, or a 4.0 student, a successful businessman, nor do I have 20k followers on Instagram, and I may not seem all well relevant to the life you live. Also, If you had seen me throughout my early adolescence, you probably would have stopped reading this by now. A misfit, pot-head, class clown, or that one weird kid, are some of the names you probably would have called me. But since my period of irrational defiance, I have made some dramatic turns in the course of my life. I’m no longer the kid that I once used to be, and it’s thanks to all the mistakes I decided to learn from.

I am writing about life advices because I find there are lots of other people like me that carry immense potentials on their shoulders that never get fully excavated. They may have some of the most beautiful talents in the world and yet, they are constantly discouraged by their inexperience and inability to utilize their assets. Consequently, they are not able succeed in the paths they are told to follow, and eventually disembarked from the mainstream society.

If for any reason, you find yourself stuck in a limbo of insecurities or falling off the path of stagnancy without a sense of direction placed in your life, you may want to heed some of the advice I have here for you today. Albeit, I still have long ways to go in order to be at the place I have set my goals on, but through each skills I have listed below, I’ve gotten closer as time moved forward. Following are some of the changes I’ve implemented in my life to turn myself from being a misfit of society.

Take Notes

One thing I’ve learned after 19 years of life is that ingenuity is a jerk and it strikes in the most unexpected times. When I’m at work doing nothing, or driving while listening to music or podcasts, profound ideas pop up like popcorn in my head then disappear quicker than money in my bank account.

So like I’ve mentioned in my previous article, “How Writing Changed My Life,” I always carry a pen and a small, pocket notebook to write down all notable thoughts I have during the day. For me, my creativity sparks as I enter into my own thoughts, otherwise known as procrastinating from doing actual work. The key is that whenever an idea pops up in my head, I open my notebook and jot it down, or voice record myself if I’m driving (please don’t write and drive). It helps me stay organized, and also relieves me from constantly reminding myself not to forget the potential million dollar idea, which then I always end up forgetting. Once that spark is recorded, I am able to come back to it anytime I want and develop it.

This skill is extremely useful if you are an artist, writer, entrepreneur, student, parent, or basically anyone who banks on your own ideas. Your thoughts follow a pattern, and they have trends that describe everything about you. Along the way, you are going to learn things about yourself that you have never recognized before. It was very important for me to use this skill in my transitional period from being an underachieving student to slightly more-achieving student. Using the notes I’ve took, I was able to set priorities in the things I wanted to do, and the things I needed to do. Now, I’m not as worried about the future anymore and my focus is turned back to the present. This skill also helps with organization, more than anything, helps you to boost up your productivity to get more work done in shorter periods of time.

Have Manners

Having manners is one of the easiest ways you can build new relationships and stand out as a leader. Having manners is so important when you are trying to impress people because it shows that you are attentive to detail and that you are a decent human being. Growing up in a conservative Asian family, my parents taught me to respect my elders and all my neighbors. I used formal language when speaking to adults, and bowed 90˚ to greet guests. For any act of benefit given to me by others, I showed my gratitude, and if at any point I was at fault for torts, I apologized. When I was a teenager, I was already accustomed to the detailed etiquettes and it allowed me to gain respect from others, especially the older crowd.

We can all agree that we love being treated fairly, in proportion to our own perceived value. To be polite, is to acknowledge that the person on the receiving end of your respect deserves the proper degree of care. They will appreciate your presence much more if you aren’t a prick, that’s the simple answer. No one likes to hang out with a rude character. But know that everyone is going to have different standards as to what is respectful and what is rude. It comes down to a reasonable person’s standard (based on the region and the culture you are in the presence of), so you may have to assess the situation to the best of your abilities to be courteous to the people around you.

I’m going to say this right now so there is no confusion; being polite doesn’t mean pleasing everyone. Don’t drag your dignity on the floor for people to wipe their shoes with. Please stand up for yourself if someone is being rude to you. There’s less justification for you to be nice to someone who is being disrespectful to you. Speak up for yourself because sometimes, you may have to earn the respect before they are given to you and vice versa.

Think Before

The next topic of the article is something that everyone should already know of doing: thinking before doing. Before you speak your mind, before you do anything, please think it over. A lot of times, our mistakes are caused from our failure to see the potential consequences of our actions. It could be easily prevented by just briefly going over the “plan” before it is acted out. Yet, so many of us do stupid things and become an internet sensation on a daily basis. Just thinking it over, for like 20 seconds. That one last preparation could enable your consciousness to lift off the fogs of irrational emotions that clouds your decision making skills. I have been told that people make their worst decisions under two specific circumstances: drunk or angry. If you are drunk and angry, I highly suggest you get yourself a chaperon and pray that person will faithfully fulfill their duty as the chaperon.

I think this skill (I do not even want to call this a skill because it seems too obvious) will benefit many people especially in sensitive times like these, where anything that you do or say can be used for and against you. If you haven’t noticed, there are significant number of people that went viral because of a stupid decision they have made. Remember that your words describe who you are, but your actions define who you are and to be defined as the people on here.

Be mindful of how you are seen against the thousands of eyes that come across your path everyday. But also, don’t let the fear of being judged hinder you from making a decision of your choice. Make sure that everything that you do is in your best possible interest first, then think of the few foreseeable consequences that you are willing to risk. If the evident risk is something you are not willing to take, maybe it’s best if you made a better decision.

Seize Opportunities

Too many times, I have lost an opportunity because I didn’t pursue it. It then became unbearable to watch, to regret the things I was too afraid to do, that I knew I was fully capable of doing. Life doesn’t come to those who wait, but is only conquered by those who step outside of their comfort zone. You can stay safe in your own bubble, but you can’t do much if all that you do is stay in that bubble. Sometimes you need the courage to say “screw it” and chase after something that you are not fully confident in. Your confidence will follow after experience, and experience will only be made through your confidence. It’s one of life’s most annoying paradoxes.

In order for an individual to step outside of that comfort zone, it requires courage to overcome your fears that root from the uncertainties of success and failure. Only when you are free from those worries and let go of the anxiety, you will be able to seize the opportunity you have been waiting for. I like to use an analogy of a batter on base. If you are too afraid to swing, you will eventually strike out. But if you do swing, you might still strike-out but now at least there’s a chance for a single, a double, a triple and a home run. Not every swing will put up scores on the board, but once you become used to the motions, your batting average will certainly increase.

Remember Names

Probably the most important book you can read about building relationships is “How to Win Friends and Influence Others” by Dale Carnegie. The book states that the most important skills in making friends are giving compliments, and remembering names. No, you don’t need to be funny or good looking. Name is essentially the representation of that person, and remembering a name is the foundation of a possible relationship.

Although this idea seems very simple on paper, it is actually hard to practice in person. I’ve been struggling for the longest time in remembering names or faces because I simply didn't really care that much. They would introduce themselves to me and I would literally forget in the next moment. It became a problem for me after asking the same person for their name more than three times in one encounter. Needless to say, that person and I don’t talk anymore. My lack of effort to even memorize his name had eventually lost the interest in me. If you want to make friends, make sure to memorize their name.

Conclusion

All these tips listed above may seem different from each other but their core values point towards specific areas: building productivity, building confidence, and building relationships. These are the implicit ideas that I feel are crucial in the development of young adults and beyond. It establishes a strong foundation for success in students like me, who’ve felt discouraged by pretty much any sort of imperfection I was given. Upon making mistakes and only through learning to fix those mistakes, I’ve found the grave importance of establishing precedent for myself to follow. These are basically some of the basic habits I placed myself in order to get my life back on track. So far, it has done nothing but wonders. And none of these skills require extreme dedication, or high standard of intelligence. It simply requires constant awareness. Once it becomes a habit, it will have positive affect on your life.

One thing to note is that life is a journey, not a destination. As cliché as it sounds, it would not be said so excessively if it wasn’t true. You will find yourself on a path without an end and while rest may be needed, you will eventually find yourself a new destination to travel as long as you are alive. These tips I’ve given you could potentially change your life; however, it must be maintained and refurbished. Look for your own advice and learn from your own mistakes so that you can share with others. With a ton of patience, you might just find yourself changed, just a little bit, in the direction that you wish to be headed.