While many of my friends are finishing up exams and packing up their dorm rooms to head back home with thousands of dollars in sorority clothes, a year's worth of dirty laundry they were waiting to haul back to mom, and lots of stories to tell, I am still in classes getting ready to head into finals week. It can be stressful to hit the books everyday to finish term papers, study for exams, and finally make the powerpoint you've needed to make for your philosophy oral presentation that you've just been putting off all semester. But, have no fear, I've discovered 5 much better things to do during finals week than be productive.
1. Make a new Neopets account
Two weeks ago I created a joint Neopets account with my sister as a joke and so far I have dumped more hours into my Kau than I care to admit. I may not have done any work figuring out the English paper that was assigned to me 2 weeks ago that my professor never explained, but I have learned valuable lessons in economics, management, and pet care. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that I should never have a pet because I will get distracted by playing Pterattack and forget to feed them. On the plus side, I have already earned 4 game trophies, made over 150 thousand Neopets, and lost all remaining self-respect I may have had.
2. Read the entire script of the Jeb Bush parody of Hamilton: An American Musical.
Now, I'll admit, I haven't done this one yet, but there is still a full week before finals begin. Described by Vanity Fair as "possibly the best musical parody of a sad political dynasty in history," I could be more excited to read this full length, 2 act, 45 scene play than I am to graduate. This could be seen as the reason for why I have prioritized doing literally anything else over studying, but I will continue to choose to ignore this and begin drafting my next Odyssey article where I review the greatest example of theatrical genius in United States history.
3. Plan out every class you are going to take for the next 2 years, just to see how soon you can graduate.
I may only be a freshman, but in an attempt to motivate myself to pass and one day graduate, I have created a color-coded chart to plan each class I will need to graduate In 3 years instead of 4. The chart took me more than 3 hours, which yes, could have been spent finishing up (or rather starting) my Anthropology presentation but now I seem cool and Pinterest worthy. If graduation was just a little bit closer, maybe I could power through and reach that goal. But then again, lots of people graduate in 5 or 6 years, so maybe that's not such a bad option either...
4. Memorize the entirety of the History of Japan video by Bill Wurtz on YouTube to one day perform it as a monologue which would totally be the coolest party trick ever.
Honestly, if you haven't watched this video it is worth the 9 minutes of your life. To its credit, it could also be considered a productive use of your time if you are taking a World History course. If not, it's still a great way to boost spirits and rid yourself, at least temporarily, from that feeling of inconsolable uselessness the stress of finals week can bring to you. And if you memorize it you get a cool new party trick!
5. Cry and then take a nap and then cry.
Although this isn't much different than my usual behavior during the semester, crying and napping becomes increasingly present as I temporarily regress to the emotional stability of a newborn baby and the work ethic of a first grader who is dealing with more homework than they've ever seen while coping with the loss of center time. Nothing feels better than leaking pure emotion out of your eyeballs and then marinading in it as you hope to sleep away your responsibilities.
Wishing you luck on all of your pre-finals activities and hoping that some of your activities are more productive than mine!
