Growing up, I had a lot of experience with disabled children. Coincidentally, I am one of them. My twin sister and I were born 3 months early and both have Cerebral Palsy, which, like many disabilities, encompasses a wide spectrum. In our case, the impediment is strictly physical; basically, select muscles are tight and harder to use, but it in no way affects our mental capabilities. Unfortunately, with physical disabilities, one always runs the risk of being stared at, whispered about, given pitiful or even dirty looks, and sometimes even being ignored or talked about by uninformed passersby.

There are so many stigmas out there about disabilities, and being an insider, I wanted to tell you about some of them. My hope is that, in reading this, some of the stereotypes and stigmas will be removed, because disabled people have rights, feelings, and abilities too. Most importantly, disability does NOT mean divisibility. In other words, don't use them as excuses for barriers. And now, here are some disability stigmas you need to stop buying into now.

1. Disabled people are all alike.

This is the most untrue stereotype out there. For those who are uninformed, it is probably the one they most frequently buy into. There are so many emotional, physical, and mental disabilities out there it's impossible to list them all. What's more, within each of these categories, there is a wide range of severity and type. For instance, there are different categories of Autism, including Asperger's, and there are different types of Cerebral Palsy; some are quadriplegic, meaning it affects all 4 limbs some (like myself) are diplegic, meaning affects only 2. DO NOT BUY INTO THIS STEREOTYPE. Every person, including those who are disabled, is wonderfully unique and different.

2. Disabled people are "handicapped, crippled, retarded, etc."

First thing's first: these terms are very insensitive. *Side note: If you don't know what the official origin of the term handicapped is, let me tell you. The term is technically derived from a 17th-century quote unquote "game of chance" in which participants compiled forfeit money into a cap and withdrew their hands (hence the term "hand in cap", later shortened to hand-i'cap and eventually handicap), after which time the referee would announce the odds of a wager that the competitors had engaged in. Then, the competitors could either forfeit the wager, in turn forfeiting their money to the other person or agree to what the ump said, giving the money in the cap to him as payment. (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=handicap) HOWEVER, this term carries a lot of negative weight because of the imagery it invokes of disabled citizens, presumably unable to hold down a job or some such thing, begging -- cap in hand. While some of this negativity is not there in more recent years, as with other antiquated terms that have been deemed insensitive, it is not completely taken without offense in some cases. As for the other terms, need I explain? If you call those with disabilities "retards, cripples," or anything else along those lines, you are being rude and insensitive. Please save yourself from this and at least try to learn how to know better.

3. Disabled people don't have feelings/don't know when you talk about them.

Again, not true. Although it is easy to think this way (because we are human and typically jump to the conclusion of associating outward appearances of disabilities with mental impairment), this is just not so. Even someone with a mental disability knows when you are treating them with a decided difference. Also, many with physical or emotional disabilities are fully mentally coherent (not always, but much of the time). Therefore, don't be rude. Even though we instinctively do it, try not to treat them differently from other people. Above all, DO NOT TEASE/BULLY/TALK ABOUT/ACT RUDE TO A DISABLED PERSON. As someone who wore leg braces for the better part of her life, it hurts more than you can imagine when someone makes you feel ashamed for things you cannot help about yourself. This can lead to serious emotional scarring, and I guarantee if the roles were reversed, you wouldn't like someone doing that sort of thing to you. Be kind. Try to empathize -- put yourself in the other person's shoes. Make friends with them. Oftentimes, you will discover that you couldn't find a sweeter, more joyful, or true friend.

4. I don't have anything in common with disabled people.

We're all different, but that doesn't mean we don't have tons of things in common. After all, we are all dealing with the ups and downs of life. Everyone, including the disabled, experiences challenges, victories, obstacles, and everyday experiences. Don't be so quick to dismiss someone with a disability by mistakenly convincing yourself that you couldn't possibly have anything in common with him or her. He or she has interests, likes and dislikes, troubles and joys, and experiences emotions (including feelings of infatuation and love) just like you. Give it a chance. You might be surprised.

5. This is the 21st century -- people are more accommodating.

False. Especially when you live in a small town, there is an appalling lack of accessibility for those who are disabled. Businesses, schools, workplaces, and even churches simply don't think about the difficulties that disabled citizens face daily. Things are often taken for granted by those who are fully able to function daily. Picture this: you can't ever have privacy because you are unable to shower, use the bathroom, or groom yourself without assistance. You can't feed yourself; you might even end up eating whatever someone sticks in your mouth, whether you like it or not. If you get angry with someone, there is no getting up and leaving the room. Going outside requires assistance. Going to the store requires assistance. You may not be able to wear certain kinds of clothes because they are too hard to get on. You can't get up and stretch, walk around, or go exploring or traveling on a whim. This is a reality for many. However, I can't tell you how many school board fights or severely limited options I've witnessed because people just don't accommodate. There is virtually no place for those who are mentally capable but physically impaired after high school. This needs to change.

I could go on, but I think you get the gist. These are just a few of the things I've seen or experienced personally. If you want to learn more, there are TONS of online resources and communities, some fully dedicated to one type of disability. A good general website is www.disability.gov, which provides links to all kinds of programs, information, and more. I hope you have taken something out of this, and I hope that in the future you don't buy into these stereotypes. Let's go learn and try to empathize so that these stereotypes are closer to becoming extinct. Go forth and put my words into action. Disability does not (and should not) mean divisibility.