45 Questions I Have For The University Of Maryland
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45 Questions I Have For The University Of Maryland

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45 Questions I Have For The University Of Maryland

As 2016 comes to a close, I reflect over my year at the University of Maryland. And I have a lot of questions that I would like answered. I'm not sure who these are addressed to: The administration? Loh? Us as students? Not sure, but I needed to share.

1. Why does Testudo, a website, close at certain hours?

2. Who hurt DOTS and why do they take it out on drivers?

3. Do you actually find the people in the UMD Alerts or do you just sort of give up and call it a day?

4. Why do you lie at campus tours and say that it takes 15 minutes to walk from one side of campus to the other?

5. How do you sleep at night when you charge $6 for Oreos at campus shops?

6. Why does the food have no flavor?

7. Have you heard of salt for said food?

8. Why is the wifi actual garbage?

9. Where do the dogs from the Health Center come from?

10. Why is Prince Frederick so nice but dorms like Wilcomico are from the 7th layer of hell?

11. I know what I said about dining and I stand by that, but what makes the buffalo chicken wraps so good?

12. Speaking of dining again, why do you sell rotten apples?

13. Why did I have watermelon that tastes like butter?

14. What is that smell in Stamp?

15. Realistically, how dirty does Testudo's nose get?

16. Where do all the offerings go?

17. Why is Cherry Garcia always in high supply at the 24 Shop?

18. Who is buying all this Cherry Garcia?

19. What have the 24 Shop employees seen between the hours of 12AM and 4AM?

20. How disgusting are the Orange buses at the end of every weekend?

21. Blue buses?

22. Why is there no ventilation in the Armory?

23. Why is the Health Center closed at inopportune times?

24. Should I plan my illnesses around the schedule?

25. Why does the inside of the School of Public Health look like a Chipotle restaurant?

26. Why is the Architecture Building, ironically, the worst academic building?

27. Sorry to keep bringing up dining, but do people actually order catering through dining services?

28. Why is Eppley so great but Ritchie is a dilapidated mess?

29. Why does Van Munching always smell like a fast food court mixed with a carnival?

30. Why do I always seem to be walking uphill?

31. Why does this school attract so many exposure incidents?

32. Why are the sidewalks on McKeldin Mall now winding?

33. Out of all the names out there that are much better, why Maryland Stadium?

34. Why does Footnotes pretend their coffee is Starbucks and charge at that rate, but it's definitely not Starbucks coffee?

35. Why did OurUmd mysteriously disappear during class registration?

36. Exactly how clean is the water in the McKeldin Fountain?

37. Why are there bathtubs in some dorms?

38. Are these even cleaned?

39. Why are people so comfortable splashing in a dirty tub with minimal cover from their peers?

40. Why is the Math Building an actual maze?

41. Why do we still call them Old and New Leonardtown when they're both old?

42. Can we think of better names for them than we did for Maryland Stadium?

43. Why are the waitlists so unforgiving?

44. Why is the fact that Liz Lemon is an alumna rarely acknowledged?

45. Why don't we have an actual diamondback terrapin as a mascot? LSU has a real, actual tiger so I think we can step up and sustain a turtle.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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