With it being early days of a new year, it is a good time to do some reflection. Thinking about my life, where I go to school -- the University Of Massachusetts, Amherst -- popped into my head quite a bit, and well, I have a lot of questions that I would like answered, just like students at other universities do.
Don't get me wrong, UMass. I love our campus and all, but I am afraid there are still a few unanswered questions I've had since becoming a student here.
1. Was the floor plan of Morrill Science Center created by Satan himself?
2. Why is the food in Southwest significantly better than the food in Central and Northeast? Don't get me wrong, dining overall is truly #1 in the nation, but why the disparity between cafeteria locations?
3. How does Eduroam always manage to crash at the exact moment I'm doing my online math homework?
4. Has anyone ever considered installing a built-in slide on Orchard Hill?
5. Did W.E.B. du Bois personally approve of the exterior design of the library? It could be a lot more aesthetically pleasing.
6. Why is our winter break longer than other schools'? I've been ready to go back for two weeks now.
7. What is the point of having overly specific course registration periods?
8. What's up with the random wind tunnels everywhere?
9. Why isn't Blue Wall open for Late Night?
10. Who thought of the idea of placing Newman Catholic Center directly next to Theta Chi? I've always wondered about that as I walk past a church, then a frat.
11. Considering the fact that half the UMass population claims to be from Boston (which I actually am, by the way), why isn't there an on-campus Dunkies?
12. Why doesn't my "smart" TV work in the dorms? I'd just like to stream Netflix on a bigger screen than my MacBook.
13. Who thought of the idea of adding 'a tobacco-free campus' to the welcome signs? For whatever reason, a lot of people get a kick out of that.
14. Why aren't there duck food dispensers next to the pond so we can feed the duckies?
15. Why aren't "maroon Mondays" enforced better?
16. What is the hourly rate for someone who dresses up as Sam the Minuteman on a hot summer's day?
17. Why can't there be air conditioning in every dorm?
18. Why isn't there a playground of some sort on Haigis Mall?
19. Why aren't there elevators in every dorm for move-in day purposes?
20. Why is the Rec Center such a hike from some dorms? Shouldn't that be made more accessible for the cold winter mornings or rainy nights?
21. Who thought to build the underground tunnel between the Student Union and Campus Center? Why wasn't the library included in that plan?
22. How do large tour groups always manage to block access to the library elevators during the afternoon, one of the busiest times to study?
23. Why can't students ice skate on the pond?
24. Why is the footbridge near the pond built for one-way traffic?
25. Why can't the Conservatory be open 24/7?
26. Why can't the other academic buildings become even remotely as nice as Isenberg, the ILC, and Life Sciences building?
27. Why are the radiators overly aggressive during the winter? Why can't students adjust the heat in their rooms to their likings?
28. Why is University Health Services not in a more central location?
29. Has anyone ever wondered as to why the fire alarms go off multiple times a week in certain dorms? Just a thought.
30. Why are therapy dogs only available to play with during midterms and finals weeks? This needs to be year-round.
31. Why does campus always seem to flood a little bit during a rain storm?
32. Why aren't there more than five washers and dryers in some dorms?
33. Why aren't there sleds available to rent for snow days? Treys only go so fast.
34. Why are the sunsets always so picture-perfect?
35. Why am I so eager to go back to school during a relaxing break? It wasn't but a month ago I would give anything to leave you. I can't quit you, UMass.
36. How did we all end up with such an amazing school to be proud of?
If anyone-- admin, the student body, random bystander-- can answer any or all of these questions, it would be greatly appreciated.