Many people are living with anxiety disorders and might not even know it. If you know someone who is, you know how hard it can be for them to make it through a day. Here are some things you should never say to someone with anxiety:
1. "Calm down, everything is going to be okay!"
Telling someone to calm down when they are in mid panic mode is like telling someone who has a cold to stop coughing. If people with anxiety could control how they feel, wouldn’t you think they would? It is very hard for someone in mid anxiety to even think straight and get their mind under control.
Instead, try saying, "What can I do to help you feel better?"
2. "You’re worrying about something that’s not that big of a deal!"
To you, yes, it might not be a big deal, but to them it is, and it’s not just a big deal, it’s a huge deal to someone with anxiety. Anxiety can consume someone and they're not in control of their feelings/thoughts, and it’s hard for their mind not to wander into more things to be worried about.
Instead, try saying, "Let's get your mind off of things and go do something!"
3. "I know exactly how you feel!"
Unless you have anxiety yourself or some other disorder, you don’t know how it feels. Sometimes anxiety disorders consume people's lives and it becomes a daily burden to them. And yes, maybe you have experienced being nervous here and there, but not on a daily basis.
Instead, try saying, "Explain to me how you feel so I can help."
4. "You have nothing to be anxious about!"
This is extremely condescending, because you don’t know how that person is feeling. Like stated above, anxiety can consume someone’s life. So even if there is nothing to be anxious about, they may be anxious about anything that comes to their mind. They cannot control it.
Instead, try saying, "How can I help you?"
Now sometimes you might slip in words that might not always help the situation when dealing with someone with anxiety. As long as you understand that someone with an anxiety disorder can't control it, and it is something they will struggle with for their whole life, that is all we can ask for.
