After working all summer as a nanny for a wonderful family, I had to reflect on all the things I learned, both funny and heartfelt, that I just know I’ll remember, cherish and laugh about every single time I think about this crazy summer. From the silly TV shows to the realities of being five, I have definitely been enlightened for the best.
1. At eight, if you think it, it must be true.
The amount of arguments had over the existence of a one day horse lease is immense, but it gave me a serious insight into the mind of an eight year old. They really see nothing absurd about this logic, it’s just what they want, so it must be.
2. If you break the yolk while making an egg in a basket, you have failed and must start again.
Even if it’s the third time you’re trying.
3. The plot of "Doc McStuffins."
Although I am still unclear if the little girl is pretending or if she really can talk to her stuffed animals.
4. How snippy and inappropriate even kids shows are.
Um, why does Goldie, in "Goldie and Bear" talk like a Valley girl?
5. How controversial every thing I say is.
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that suggesting we go to the library is the equivalent of insulting your entire life and everything you’ve done.
6. How, apparently, brushing teeth is negotiable.
When you wake up or after you eat, I don’t care. You just have to brush them at some point.
7. The louder you talk, the more valid your point is.
Please stop yelling just because you think watching the third "Scooby Doo" is the best idea you’ve had in weeks. You don’t need to break my eardrums to make a point.
8. Before kindergarten, boys don’t have any concept of a personal bubble.
So this means that, to them, if they want to kiss me, they can - regardless of how I feel about it.
9. Despite being medically diagnosed as allergic to cats, they must still pet every cat to double check if they’re allergic.
Then, when they get hives because they are allergic, they must cry.
10. Despite 5-year-old boys not understanding a personal bubble, they really need physical love and it’s very sweet.
They want to sit on your lap at all times, and hold your hand wherever you walk.
11. Any adult that they care about is super influential.
The first time I heard my words back, I started to think a lot more about what I said.
12. Timeouts hurt the adult more than the child.
I’m fairly sure I was sadder every time I sent someone to their room than they were. I don’t understand it.
13. Every. Single. Word. To the musical "Matilda."
I liked it on my own when it first came out... but if I ever hear that music again, I actually might lose it.
14. How to install a carseat.
Who knew that this isn’t hard, and that they are actually the most savvy things ever?
15. How many gosh darn things contain peanuts.
When I had to ask every waiter and every cashier to triple check ingredients, I realized peanuts are in practically everything either by ingredient or co-contamination and it’s so frustrating.
16. And how many cashiers think it’s such a burden to check ingredients.
Do not roll your eyes at me for checking so this kid doesn’t have anaphylactic shock.
17. How many human beings are at children’s museums and activities all the time.
And how none of their kids even know how to play nicely.
18. How heavy two water bottles, two snacks, an epi-pen and two bottles of sunscreen actually are.
So. Heavy.
19. What it feels like to not be able to go to the bathroom in peace.
I understand that you just did something super cool, and I promise you I will give you all the attention in 30 seconds, but for now, please leave me alone.
20. How mac and cheese, if not prepared the cheesiest possible, is worthless and I will be grilled on what exactly I did that made it come out less than perfect.
21. The patience to not snap when I highly recommended the five year old boy pick something for breakfast, he refuses.
And 45 minutes later, when we’re out of the house and on our way to the next activity, he has a meltdown about being hungry.
22. How to not curse.
Sugar was my choice word all summer every time I burned myself or stubbed my toe.
23. How to know what’s happening behind you without even having to look.
I really understand where the expression “eyes in the back of my head” came from now.
24. That anything you say can and will be used against you.
Remember when you said you thought Six Flags was a good idea, thus promising us you would take us this summer? Yeah, me too.
25. How gross sunscreen feels under your nails.
Every day, twice a day applications of thick goopy stuff on kids who won’t even stand still takes a toll on my nails and my psyche in general.
26. How to clean a kitchen in three minutes.
When the kids are fighting and are .5 seconds away from an altercation, but I also have to do the dishes, the dishes get done and the altercation is prevented. Bam. Super nanny.
27. How expensive things I don’t want to do are.
Spending $30 on admission to my favorite place as a kid didn’t seem like a big deal but being the adult who watches the kids run out of things to do 40 minutes in makes you resent that money spent.
28. How kids really don’t hold grudges.
No matter how many times I had to correct them, or talk extra sternly, it only took them about seven minutes before they were back to themselves; chattering away as if nothing happened.
29. That they really do listen.
Despite feeling like every single direction goes in one ear and out the other, there’s always a moment when they repeat a rule back to me in a different context and I have to just smile and know they heard me even when they pretend they don’t.
30. How much approval they want from me.
I started to realize that I’m not just in charge or a caretaker, or a sometimes fun summer buddy. I’m a platform they can bounce ideas off of and can really gauge what’s right and wrong in situations that they haven’t encountered before. You know what they say, “With great power comes great responsibility.”
31. How pleasant it is to sit at meals with two beings who don’t have cell phones.
We had real conversations, people. Something that has only been had with my parents and maybe one friend ever.
32. How they can sense your mood.
This one is big - no matter what goes on in my life, or what I see on social media, they know when something upsets me and are genuinely concerned. This gives rise to two very amazing realities. One, whatever it is not that big a deal, and two, if I did need the little pick me up, they are eager to help.
33. They notice every little thing about you every single day.
Whether it’s my hair being different, my nails being a new color or the fact that I forgot to wear a bracelet that I normally do, they know.
34. How much the parents appreciated me, and trusted me.
These people are leaving the loves of their lives in my care with the hopes that I cannot only keep them alive, but maintain the rules they’ve worked hard to set up and keep them on track, despite the change in pace that summer brought.
35. How much they love you.
Despite the fact that they argue, and despite the fact that you might make them cry on occasion, they love you so much. And, most of the time, even if you don’t realize it, they’re showing you as well.
36. How much I love them.
They’re not mine, but they’re pretty darn close at this point. I talked about them all the time, laugh about them and feel like they are just the sweetest things ever. I’m so lucky I got to spend the time I did with them. I literally spent our last day explaining how much time is between the last day and the next time I’m coming back because I know how much I’m going to miss them.
