The tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body, even though it has no bones. It is home to your taste buds, helps us swallow, and is the most important articulate of speech. The idea that it can help us talk can be good, but it can also be very, VERY bad. James 3:8 tells us that “no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” Even though it seems like the tongue can only help more than hurt us, when used the wrong way, it can be more harmful than any gun or knife.
Although it isn’t as common as physical abuse, verbal abuse is a very common occurrence among people in today’s time. According to www.verbalabuse.com, verbal abuse can include being blamed continuously, being yelled at continuously, as well as being verbally degraded or ‘spoken down to’, along with many other examples. It has been proven that, during most cases of verbal abuse, the victim doesn’t even realize that they are being abused, they are so accustomed to how they are being treated that they see nothing unusual or wrong with it. That, to me, is one of the worst things that can happen to a person-being mistreated and abused and not have a clue that what is happening to you is wrong. I have some friends that were, and some still are, victims of verbal abuse from their significant others, friends, or even their family, and I want to share the advice that I gave to them with the rest of the world.
1. Hold Your Head High
Let's face it—people’s words can either do us a lot of good, or a lot of bad. When we get complimented, whether it be on our appearance that day or an accomplishment of ours or even our cooking, it undoubtedly feels nice to be recognized in a positive way by others. When people say things to hurt our feelings, whether it be making fun of how much we weigh, accusing us of doing something that we know that we didn’t do, or generally making mean comments that deliberately hurt us, it makes us feel like we are of less worth than what we really are. People are just that mean. But the key to staying strong is to act like it doesn’t even bother you. In fact, laugh at their petty behavior and pity them for not knowing any better than to act how they are. Keep your head high, your chin up, and don’t let people’s mean comments hurt you.
2. Don’t Fight Back
When a person makes us angry or hurts our feelings, our first natural instinct is to fight back, whether it be yelling back, accusing the other person of something, or saying equally mean things to ‘get back at them.’ Don’t do that, it only puts you on just as low of a level as the person who had hurt you, and you don’t want that. Instead, react to their negative words with peace, love, and mellowness. When growing up, I always heard the phrase ‘kill them with kindness.’ No, I don’t mean to actually kill them, but this phrase is emphasizing the importance of being nice to those who hurt you. Who knows, maybe your reaction to their wrongdoings will make them think twice about how they are acting, and they’ll stop treating you so badly.
3. Lift Them In Prayer
Luke 6:28-29 tells us to “bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone takes your cloak, do not withhold your tunic as well.” Like I mentioned earlier, when people hurt us in any way, our first reaction as natural human beings is to find a way to hurt them back, just like they did to us. But, as Christians, God doesn’t want us to do that. Can you imagine what the world would be like if Christ had that kind of attitude toward us, the people whose sins caused him to have to be killed on the cross? We’d all be in some pretty hot soup. But, fortunately for us, Christ doesn’t act that way, and therefore, neither should we. We are called to be more Christ-like as Christians, and learning to forgive those who hurt us is a pretty good start to do that. Colossians 3:13: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
I am no stranger to how difficult it can be to forgive those who hurt you, it is one of the hardest things to ever do;but it’s also one of the best things that we can do. By holding our heads high, not retaliating, and keeping those who hurt us in our prayers, we can turn our bad experiences with verbal abuse into ones who make us stronger, more capable people in the long run.
