The road to self-love is long and treacherous. I know because I've been down it, but no matter how rough the ride, the trip is totally worth it. It took me years to accept who I am and to love myself, but once I achieved that, I have never felt better in my entire life. So I've compiled a few simple steps that I took to reach self-love and that you can take, too.
1. Know yourself.
According to my boyfriend, "A wise philosopher named Drake once said, 'Know yourself, know your worth.'" Now Drake may not be a philosopher, but he's onto something here. Knowing yourself is the first step to self-love because you have to spend time with yourself to truly know and love you. Go shopping by yourself. See a movie by yourself. Have a cup of coffee and read a book by yourself. Eat at a restaurant by yourself. Take some "me" time and do whatever you have to do to look inside yourself and learn exactly who you are. Only then can you learn to love what makes you you.
2. Love yourself.
Over the past few years, I've made it a point to wake up each day and say, "I love me." And as corny as that sounds, it actually works. Only you can decide to love who you are, and only you can teach you how to love yourself. If that means taking a break from dating for a while, then so be it. You should be the number one priority in your life always. Date yourself. Fall in love with yourself. If it means embracing your lifelong obsession with polka music or "Digimon," then so be it. Love what makes you happy and accept yourself for who you really are because loving you is only a small part of achieving complete and total self-love. We can't all be 2013 Beyoncé and see ourselves as flawless, but you can channel 2002 Beyoncé and learn to love yourself, flaws and all.
3. Respect yourself.
I'm no stranger to looking in the mirror and thinking, "I look so fat in this outfit" or "My hair looks terrible today," but I've learned to embrace the parts of me that, according to societal definition, aren't "perfect." I've learned to respect my body because it's the only one I have. Do I like having cellulite? Absolutely not. Do I enjoy having stretch marks? Um, no. But I can still respect myself and my body for all that it's been through and for all that it will endure. You will never be perfect by anyone's definition, but you can be you. You are you. Respect yourself and your body, and demand respect from others. Be Aretha and find out what the R-E-S-P-E-C-T means to you, and you'll be that much closer to really loving yourself.
Self-love is a lifetime investment. You'll have to work on you every day. You'll have to work toward bettering yourself at all times, but if you fully embrace you, you can reach a state of happiness and satisfaction in life beyond compare.
