Being in a long distance relationship is anything but easy. Not having the luxury of living close to the one you love can be taxing, exhausting, and emotionally draining. Being in a relationship of this nature myself, I can attest to how difficult it can be when your girlfriend lives on the other side of the country. However, for all the emotional roller coasters that being in such a relationship can bring, my girlfriend and I have approached this relationship in such a way that these emotions, while still present, do not have the original effect that they once had. In this article, I hope to share the three things that we have done and continue to do to make sure that our relationship does nothing less than grow.
1. Communication
While this is critical for any relationship, its importance is tenfold in a long distance relationship. Because of the physical distance, your partner will not be able to read your body language, feel your energy, or read your mind so you need to convey all of this to them. It is understandable that being apart from your partner creates feelings of sadness, anxiety, and anger. Some of these emotions might even be directed towards them, this is okay but you must talk about these emotions with them. If left unchecked, these emotions can bottle up and fester until one day they erupt and can cause a serious rift between the two of you. This is why it is important that when you two talk, that you are in invested in the conversation 100%. Whether the medium is through text, phone call, or video chat, you must be devoted to setting aside a time when you can talk and appreciate what your partner has to say. On the flip side of this, it is important to realize as much as your partner loves you, you both are going to be busy, so while ideally y'all could talk for hours and hours, this isn't realistic. Communicate this with each other so you both come to a common understanding on this. Communication is not only talking with the one you love, it's conveying emotions, coming to understandings with one another, and making time for each other.
2. Trust
Integral to all relationships, trust is what keeps people sane in a long distance relationship. Without this, a person can go crazy with jealousy and suspicion and ruin their relationship. Therefore, both of you must have trust in one another that you two are going to remain faithful even though you are apart. This ties in with communication because you must trust each other in so far as they are making time for you. Trust is also important because it manifests itself in being able to believe that your partner isn't holding out anything from you. It is important to keep in mind that although the current situation that you are in may not be ideal, there is something in the fact that you both agreed to go on with it. It could have been easily done away with upon realizing how hard it would be to do so. But there was that initial trust that you two built the relationship off upon your separation and it will be this foundation that will maintain the strength of your relationship.
3. Utilization of the Time Apart
Out of the three things listed here, this is possibly the hardest one. This often gets mistaken for ‘enjoy your time apart’ or ‘take a break from each other’, this is not what is meant. Utilization of the time apart from your loved one means that in order for the relationship to prosper, you must have the ability to grow as an individual. Being away from your partner gives you the opportunity to do that. Reflect on what the relationship has done for you and what you have done for the relationship without the opinion of your partner. Then come back to your partner with what you came up with. What this also looks like is being able to critique what you two have been doing wrong or what you have been doing right throughout your relationship. Take a step back, talk with yourself, talk with your partner, and make the necessary changes.
These three tips are three things that my girlfriend and I have made sure we have done to ensure that we progress and grow through our long distance relationship. While it is very easy for a relationship of this nature to fall into decay, with dedication and commitment, a long distance relationship can work.
