Ever since I retired the thought that boys had cooties, I promised to never let myself get involved in a long distance relationship. I just couldn’t stomach my boyfriend being far enough away from me that a phone call was the only realistic way I could hear his voice. Entering high school, the boys my high school had to offer made it seem like no boy was worth even a basic relationship, but as I strolled into my junior year of high school, I managed to tangle myself into a serious relationship. We planned on going to the same college, and he was pretty much my male twin, with a passion for cars and an insight for sports.
The more college applications we sent, the more our relationship seemed to grow. Months into our senior year, he was accepted into our dream school and I was accepted into a high-end school two states away. As time ticked on, I assumed we would slowly grow apart and when it came to departing, we would be too busy to handle a long distance relationship. But two semesters later, I’m more in love with him now than ever.
Long distance relationships can be tough, and some days, impossible. If the voice you call every night is able to put a smile on your face in seconds, it'd say it's worth the distance, but there are some things you need to keep in mind when involved in a long distance relationship.
1. Don’t stress over the small stuff.
One little complaint can blow up into a huge argument. Remember, you can’t just kiss and make up or cry into each other’s arms and make it all go away. Every fight or disagreement must be sealed in an envelope, tapped on a keyboard, blabbed on a phone, or stressed through webcam. You don’t have all day to chit chat, so don’t spend the time you do have to communicate just yelling at one another about an argument that will irritate both of you.
2. Don’t just sit in your room and sob.
That isn't going to make the time tick by any faster. Distract yourself with friends, schoolwork, a hobby, or maybe a club. Friends can help you get through rough times and keep you in a positive mind set, and the time ticks by pretty quickly with a couple of friends who want the best for you.
3. Even though you're miles apart, you can still have a life.
Make your own friends and get involved in clubs you find interesting. My boyfriend is fascinated with cars, so he decided to join an engineering club that builds and works on cars. He joined a frat and now partially lives at the frat house. He attends most of his school’s sporting events and finds plenty of time to study. Normally we would hang out all the time, and he wouldn’t be able to commit to so many things and have time for date nights, but his schedule keeps him busy and he gets to focus on himself.
4. Communication is key! Also, try to keep it interesting.
Talk at least once a day, whether it's just a few compliments or an update on how your test went. Try to spice it up here and there, and maybe write a letter or send a cute email to remind them that you're thinking of them. Just a few words from the one you love can go a long way.
5. Remember you support them, and are there for them through good and bad.
If they do well on a test, make it known that you're proud of them, and if they don’t do well on a test, don’t ignore it or change topics. Keep their head held high and cheer them up, because you’re the person that's suppose to turn their frown upside down. The days that life seems to be crashing down are the days they need you the most, and those are the days that really tell you where your relationship is headed.
7. Date nights are not impossible.
Every few nights, once a week, or whatever is best for your schedules, set aside time for one another. Turn on Facetime or Skype, order from the same restaurant, or maybe turn on the same show and just spend time together. It sounds funny, but knowing that you can still set time for each other and be on a virtual date can go a long way.
8. Remember the goal, and if you haven’t made one yet, think about creating one together.
For the days you really have to drag yourself through, a quick flash into the future can make the day seem less dreary. The goal may not go according to plan, but at least you know what to shoot for and what the prize is in the end. Know what you’re fighting for.
At the end of the day, remember that long distance relationships are tough and can seem impossible, but the time that you get to spend together is worth the miles, and the heart does grow fonder the farther you are apart. Wouldn’t it be cool to say you were able to overcome miles apart together?
