OK, so I write probably way too often about my homeland. But really, how can I resist? I'm a born and bred Wisconsinite, and in recent years, my connection to my home state has become almost spiritual. Wisconsin, you're my muse -- the squeaky curd to my whey, the beer-boiled brat to my bun, the country to my music and the Miller Lite to my Friday night. I love thee dearly. There's no doubt in my cheesehead that my fellow Wisco brethren can relate, so cheers to you for contributing to my love for this beautiful state.
You know you're a Wisconsinite when...
1. Pabst Blue Ribbon, Miller, Leinenkugel's or New Glarus are your go-to adult beverages.
2. Actually, let’s just generalize and say beer. You love it, and you can put it down like cherry Kool-Aid.
3. You’d prefer a dive bar with a small-town atmosphere over an overpriced night out in the city any day of the week.
4. You frequently feast on a Friday fish fry, a fantastic family festivity for food fanatics (that’s alliteration). No joke, every Wisconsinite has his or her favorite fish fry joint.
5. You think you’re from the Midwest but your neighbors to the south say you’re a straight up northerner.
6. You've seriously thought about getting the state of Wisconsin tattooed on your left butt cheek.
7. Flannels, baseball hats, and blue jeans are personal favorites of every Wisconsinite, from the Milwaukeean to his brother Hodag up in Rhinelander.
8. You’re a big fan of Up North — a real, definitive geographical location that exists north of Stevens Point and is largely characterized by pine trees, ski hills, and lakes on lakes on lakes.
9. You know as well as anyone else that the “cheese lover” complex isn’t just a stereotype.
10. There’s at least one sneaky item of Realtree camo in the back of your closet, but you’re not exactly sure if it’s there because it blends in so damn well.
11. You generally like to spend your money on experiences — snowmobile outings, concerts and fishing trips — rather than on material things. But you’ll spend good cash on snow boots and Packer jerseys.
12. Though you are incredibly loyal to the red, white, and blue, you would just as soon identify as a Wisconsinite as you would an American.
13. Speaking of America, you know someone who has served in the armed forces.
14. You boil your brats in onions and PBR before you throw them on the grill.
15. And you love a good slice of Racine’s kringle with your morning coffee (the Danish pastry, not Santa Claus).
16. Really, there is no such thing as cold weather. Anything above zero degrees feels moderately warm.
17. You secretly hope that your future lover is from this great state so there are no debates about where to raise your little cheeseheads. And you definitely hope he’s not a Bears fan, but they say opposites attract so you're prepared.
18. Speaking of lovers, you’re attracted to rugged. That’s right, beards and flannels and uniformed men are appealing. Guys, you know you like the way she looks in those hiking boots.
19. You think fried cheese curds are exponentially better than French fries.
20. You’re into winter sports because if you weren’t, you’d have little to do for seven months of the year. Snowshoeing, skiing, sledding, skating, hockey, snowmobiling, ice fishing — you name it, Wisconsinites probably enjoy it.
21. There’s a little Irish, German, or Scandinavian way back in your bloodline.
22. You’re sure that the Pack is the greatest franchise in the NFL.
23. You wonder why we don’t have a professional hockey team. C’mon, we want to have a reason to avoid the Blackhawks bandwagon.
24. You know someone who wore a camo-accented tuxedo to his high school prom.
