It’s safe to say if you’ve been drunk more than once in your life, you’ve experienced a hangover. Whether you get them frequently, or once a year, hangovers are brutal. But, it’s your own fault. I’m lucky enough to get hangovers very scarcely, but when I do, I know it’s because I’ve drank way more than I should have.
If you think about it, your own body is literally punishing you for the many ridiculous things you put yourself, and possibly others, through the night prior. The headache, stomach turning, dehydrated, sore feeling that consumes your body will also get into your brain and you’ll most likely endure a thought process similar to the following:
1. Oh my god, that’s sunlight, no I’m going under the blankets.
2. F*ck.
3. Why did I take those shots at the bar?
4. I need water.
5. I don’t want to walk all the way downstairs to get water.
6. Is that pizza on the night table?!
7. Is it really bad if I eat that pizza for breakfast right now?
8. What did I even do last night?
9. I feel like I’m going to puke.
10. Maybe Advil and a nap will help.
11. Can you overdose on Advil?
12. Seriously, I just need to stop drinking.
13. Why do I do this to myself?
14. I would be so much happier and healthier without tequila.
15. My body is physically repelling it, I’m shaking and I think I need to Uber to the hospital.
16. How does drinking make you sore? I didn’t even dance last night.
17. Wait, did I?
18. My room smells like a bar…scratch that, I smell like a bar.
19. OK, I don’t even want to look at my phone.
20. OK maybe I should check if I have anything embarrassing on my story…
21. Nope too bright, f*ck that.
22. I’m going to just yell for my roommates to come help me.
23. They're probably going to suggest the diner and I am definitely going out looking homeless and I need sunglasses.
24. ow is there not a cure for a hangover yet?
25. I wish I had my mom right now.
