Now, let’s be real. We’ve all said it once or twice before— “I’m never drinking again." Usually after a rough night out it might be the only thought that crosses your mind the morning after. To be honest, this probably isn’t the first time and won’t be the last. We’ve all been there, but here are some reasons you might find yourself shaking your head in disapproval of things you did last night.
1. Because of the morning after.
No, you may not be next to someone you regretfully hooked up with the night before, but you definitely aren’t feeling too hot. You’re probably waking up with last night’s makeup running down your face, or for the guys out there, probably stripped down to your boxers lying in the middle of the floor. You might feel like a train hit you and reach for the bottle of Advil you share between you and the rest of your hung-over quad.
2. Because you almost threw up in the dining hall at lunch the next day.
The sight of food, let alone the smell, makes you want to vomit. You’ve been nauseous all morning, but thought getting some fresh air on the walk to the dining hall might help. You might think chicken nuggets and french fries are the answer to all your problems, but they won’t be too pleasant on their way back up.
3. Because you embarrassed yourself by twerking all over the basement of the most popular frat.
No reason to be embarrassed, you thought you owned that dance floor, even if you didn’t.
4. Because you hooked up with someone in the middle of the party, but can’t remember what he or she looked like.
For those of you at big party schools, this probably isn’t a problem for you. But for all of the small, private colleges out there, beware. Your friends will probably have seen the kid you were all over while awkwardly dancing with, and seeing him or her in the dining hall might make things a little awkward.
5. Because you made best friends with an awesome dance partner, but can’t remember their name.
Drunken friendships are the best kinds of friendships. You might have bonded over your favorite Fetty Wap song or belted out the lyrics to a remixed Adele song envisioning your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. You see them on your walk to class on Monday morning, but what the f*** was their name?!
6. Because you inhaled three slices of pizza from your school’s nearest pizzeria before heading back to your dorm.
We’ve all been there after a long night of drinking. You just want a nice, hot piece of pizza. Approximately 20 minutes later you can count on face planting into your bed full and happy. Word of advice: cut yourself off after one if you’re planning on going to bed shortly after or you might wake up in the middle of the night regretting that last buffalo chicken slice.
7. Because you checked your Snapchat the morning after and can’t remember what you might have said to your crush.
You see that you "snapped" the guy/girl you might be talking to, or wishing you were, but you have no idea what you might have said. You might not remember your Snapchat story, but at least you can replay it to fill in any gaps you have from the night.
8. Because you sent out that “where are you?” text.
Whether you’re actually looking for a hookup or just trying to make drunken conversation, you’ll regret this text 99 percent of the time. If they answer, you’re the booty-caller. If they don’t, you’ll wonder why.
9. Because you didn’t make it out of the dorm.
It happens to the best of us, but for that night, you were “that guy." You probably pre-gamed a little too hard and instead of heading to the party, the only thing you were headed to was bed.
10. Because you blacked out.
You made it out of the dorm, but don’t remember what happened for the rest of the night. You thought you were drinking responsibly, but once you stepped outside, the rest is a blur.
You’re not alone when you say you’re “never drinking again.” Keep a lookout for other hung over kids in groutfits and sunglasses to make you feel a little better the morning after a rough night.
