25 People You Inevitably Meet In College
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Politics and Activism

25 People You Inevitably Meet In College

Which one are you?

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25 People You Inevitably Meet In College
Photo by Mal Smith

College freshmen inevitably experience a vast new world. This new world invites many changes, from eating mediocre food in the cafeteria, to meeting new people, to learning to live with complete strangers. Eventually all these new changes turn into routines, and college becomes home. But, students usually have to encounter a slew of interesting people along the way.


1. The girl who is actually crazy.

You probably first saw her at the mandatory orientation dance, and she was probably twerking to Fetty Wap. Later, when you formally met this girl at a party, she was a blast to spend time with, and with her the party never stopped. But after a month or so you noticed some oddities: she was popping pills and drinking obscene amounts of alcohol. After a while she became fairly exhausting. Then, one night she forcefully tackled you in the hall of your dorm because you wouldn’t go to a bar with her. After which point, you decided she was too much for you. Later you found out she punched the guy she was hooking up with in the face (while they were hooking up) and emotionally scarred her roommate. Lesson learned.

2. The girl who stopped maturing in 8th grade.

You met this girl in the cafeteria (her favorite spot). She told you she loved “people watching”. You would eat meals with her and she quietly watched everyone, periodically telling you about how ugly this girl’s shoes were or complaining about how this guy cut her off in the cereal line. Eventually she would come up with names for these people and you would learn whom she meant when she told you about “fat boy,” “rude girl” and “crazy Karen.” You brushed off these mean spirited remarks as signs of insecurity, and a sign that she really needed a good friend. Your friendship abruptly ended when she got angry with you and instead of talking about it (like a normal human), she began ignoring you. But it wasn’t a big deal because meal times are much more peaceful now that you don’t have to worry about getting beaten up by one of the subjects of her rude remarks.

3. The couple who met during orientation.

This couple met during the first few days of school, and now you never see one without the other. They have breakfast together...and lunch and dinner. They go to the library together, and they have figured out a way to hold hands while also keeping their hands in their pockets. The amount of effort they spend being a couple is exhausting. These relationships will go one of two ways: they will date for three months before having the messiest break up campus has ever seen, or they will get married. Both of these options are terrifying.

4. The girl in the long-distance relationship.

This girl is famous for saying, “I can’t, I’m Skyping my boyfriend tonight.” She has only told you about 300 times they’ve been dating for three years, and after all they’ve been through, a little distance can’t break their bond. "They’re soul mates, duh." However, more times than not, this girl turns into…

5. The girl who was dumped by her long-distance high school sweetheart.

You can’t say you didn’t expect it. From what you could tell, she was more interested in being in a relationship than being with him. Yet, this break up was the most defining moment of her life. She brings "angry, jaded woman" to a whole new level. She does everything to prolong this break up from faking serious illnesses, to performing a passionate monologue about divorce at open mic night (once her performance ended she threw her fake wedding ring at the audience, and it was terrifying). After a while you became concerned about her mental well-being, but she eventually bounced back, and became the party girl you always knew she would be.

6. The guy who doesn’t understand personal space.

You met this guy at a party and he decided he needed to use you as a human blanket. He met you at around 10:00 p.m. and by 10:30 p.m., he had his arms around your waist, and started petting you like a cat. Only after considerable twisting and turning were you able to escape your captor's clutches. Later, when you saw him on-campus, you pretended you didn’t remember meeting him.

7. The girl who goes home every weekend.

You wouldn’t know this girl existed if you didn’t have math with her. She tells you all the time about how her family made matching tee shirts for the weekend (they’re going apple picking). You spot her waiting for her Mom to pick her up in a minivan; she’s sitting on a suitcase.

8. The kid who is way too friendly.

You met this kid at orientation. You were a freshman, and he was an upperclassman that decided to participate in orientation because he “wanted to get to know the freshmen”. He doesn’t know when he’s too close to your face, and when he’s talking too much. He considers you his closest friend because you provide him with “tough love”. Which means you get tired of listening to him, and yell at him, but he thought it showed that you cared. No matter how hard you try you will never escape this guy. His existence will become your biggest pet peeve.

9. The kid who is already thinking of grad school…but doesn’t know senior comps exist.

You met this kid at a party near the beginning of the semester; he was sipping a beer, causally savoring the taste of his natty light, pretending he enjoyed the distinct piss taste. You walked up to him and started chatting; he tells you he’s “going to go to law school so he can be a senator.” Fast-forward a few semesters: His hair is three inches longer, he has unruly stubble and he’s shot-gunning a beer. If you ask him about law school he scoffs. He claims he’d be just as happy with a desk job, as long as he gets to hang with his "bros."

10. The kid who claims to have a high GPA, but is too hung over to make it to class.

Everyone knows this kid; he will deny he’s on academic probation like it’s his job. He drinks and smokes every night and even parties until 3:00 a.m. on a Tuesday. He refused to buy textbooks because they’re “a scam” (but, he really blew his book money on beer). This kid is irrelevant to you, until he decides to lecture you about studying.

11. The kid who actually has a high GPA but can't function during weekends.

When you ask him what he did this weekend, he informs you proudly that he and his "buddy from American University had a sick acid trip and visited the National Gallery.” He then proceeds to set the curve in his accounting class and gets a 4.0 without spending more than three hours studying. No matter how cool this kid is, you will always secretly be jealous of him.

12. The kid who pre-games so hard, he does't make it out.

The only way you know this kid exists is because you’ve heard rumors of his existence from his roommate. He’s into hard drugs. You’ve heard he’s a cool guy, but you’ve never met him. He will drop out before freshman year ends and you will never associate a face with the legend.

13. The functioning alcoholic.

When you see this guy in the cafeteria he's drinking coffee, with Everclear as a creamer. When he does homework, he gets so drunk he can't make coherent sentences, but always pulls C’s. You don’t know if you’ve ever had a conversation with him sober, but honestly he’s such a cool dude it doesn’t matter.

14. The girl who knows her major is worthless but pursues it anyways.

When talking about the future she starts sweating and hyperventilating because she doesn’t know what she wants to do after college, and if she did, the career field is so limited that she will likely be unable to find a job. She knows there’s a high possibility she will end up waitressing, but her optimistic attitude about it makes her endearing.

15. The girl who is super defensive about her major.

She once heard you jokingly criticize her major and stormed down the hall to yelled at you for five minuets about all of the things that make her major great. You stood there in utter disbelief that you were actually being yelled at for a joke. You see periodically her on campus, always on her way to go "make herself more competitive in her field." She scares you and you avoid her at all costs.

16. The kid who decided that his major is superior.

At lunch one day he told you your major was a joke; you ended up choking on water because it took you a moment to process the insult. He decided to criticize your major because he is convinced his major will make him more money. You politely tell him to go to hell, but whenever you think of the incident you get angry.

17. The kid who doesn’t even go here.

He may once have gone to school with you, or he lives in the area, but you see him everywhere and he’s always causing trouble. You don’t know this guy well, but he scares you. You heard rumors he was linked in two robberies, and even though you don’t know for sure, when you see him your skins crawls.

18. The girl who cannot handle her alcohol.

When you met this girl Halloweekend, she was sitting on the side of the road sobbing. Then, you asked what was wrong and she threw up on your shoes. You probably took care of her that night; she probably stole your bed and never thanked you. When you see her now you say hello, but secretly think she needs an etiquette class for party fouls.

19. The girl who always wants to go out, then complains about how much she hates going out.

This girl once approached you in the hallway and made you go to the club with her. She was excited the day before you went to the club, she was even excited waiting in the cold to get into the club, but the second you actually got in she decided she hated it, and needed to leave. You made her stay for at least two hours (you paid a $15 entrance fee and you were going to get your money’s worth), and when you decided to leave she was relieved, until you actually left. Then she was upset that we didn’t stay longer. You never went out with her again.

20. The kid who flunked out, then spontaneously showed up the next semester.

This kid is actually an alcoholic. You have pictures on your phone of him cuddling with an empty handle and he carries a bowl in his back pocket. He never goes to class, and probably cannot read. Everyone knows his GPA is potentially lower than a 1.0, and after first semester you thought you’d never see him again. But you see him every semester, and wonder if he keeps bribing the academic board.

21. The kid who is incredibly religious.

If you go to a Catholic school, this person ends up being about 30 percent of the student body. This kid generally is known to be saying, “I have to go, I’m the cantor for mass.” At one point you said “goddamn it,” they choked on their water and asked you politely “to not take the Lord's name in vain.” But you have a potty mouth and enjoy cursing, so although this kid was the sweetest person, your friendship fizzled out fairly quickly.

22. The kid who is clearly a narcissist.

Before you met this kid, you didn’t think it was possible to elicit a physical response to accompany the hatred you feel for a person; but when you see him your stomach churns, your blood pressure rises, and you start considering pulling out your own hair. Initially you thought he had only-child syndrome, but later learned he has 6 siblings. His immense love for himself marveled you; if he thought he wasn’t getting enough attention he would start yelling. With your luck you’ll be in a situation that forces you to fake kindness towards him; but one day you snapped and informed him that he was the most horrible person to crawl the earth, and you couldn't pretend that to like him anymore. After this, he ignored you, and you were eternally thankful.

23. The kid who pretends he’s broke, but is loaded.

You have never seen this kid buy anything extravagant, he claims the $2 bag of chips you splurged on was beyond his reach. You were actually convinced he was broke, until he let it slip that his family “owns a vacation home”, and his “dad owns a private plane”, but despite this he assures you “he’s incredibly poor.”

24. The religious thirsty Thursday congregation.

These kids are a cult. Thursday morning comes and they get excited to go to the bars. They organized their course schedules so they’re done with class at noon on Thursday (the better to pregame) and they don’t have class till noon Friday, so they have ample time to deal with hang overs. They’re often heard saying “I got so turnt last night."

25. The girl who was home schooled until college and it really shows.

You met this girl in English class. You attempt to be nice to her, but something is clearly off about her. She has no hobbies, no friends, and likes her mom way too much. Eventually it comes out that she was homeschooled her whole life, and suddenly you get it. She may be weird as hell, but at least now you’re less concerned about whether you’re fraternizing with a serial killer or not.

So yes, college is full of many different types of people. Some will become your closest and most lively friends, and others will teach you important things about the ugly side of humanity. No matter what, it's always fun to meet new people and learn to appreciate them for all their quirks, good or bad.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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