This past weekend, my boyfriend and I made the two and a half hour drive from San Antonio to Houston so we could go to our old high school's homecoming game. I don't know how it works at every school, but at mine, it's a big tradition for last year's class to visit their old teachers and friends at homecoming. So I put on a cute dress and prepared myself for the onslaught of fake smiles and "ohmygosh how are you?"
In honor of my school being Saint John the 23rd, here are 23 thoughts I had at the football game:
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1. "They actually got around to painting the school... but it still looks like a prison"
2. "Why are their homecoming shirts so much cuter than ours?"
3. "Why is their football team suddenly able to catch the ball this year?"
4. "I wonder if they have senior privileges this year?"
5. *upon seeing the band tailgate* "so glad I'm friends with the band kids - their moms can cook."
6. "Oh gosh, I see my old friends. Time to act like I have my life together."
7. "Can they tell I'm fake-smiling? They can totally tell I'm fake-smiling."
8. "Wait, so-and-so isn't coming? YAASSSSS, I don't have to pretend to be nice to them."
9. "You might graduate high school, but you'll never escape the drama."
10. "Oh my gosh, why do you care what they said about you? Grow up already... oh wait, you're still stuck in this hell for another two years."
11. "I hate fake hugs. If you hated me in high school, just say so. It's a lot nicer than giving so-and-so a real hug while giving me a half side hug right after."
12. "Am I even watching the game? Nah, no one actually does that."
13. "Wow, I don't miss dance team at all."
14. "I'd rather stab a fork in my eye than count to eight again"
15. "Thank goodness I brought bug spray"
16. *when someone asked me how my old teachers were* "well, half of them were fired, so..."
17. "stop trying to make your college sound better than mine"
18. "oh my gosh, we won a football game? That never happened when I went here..."
19. "gosh, is it bad that I don't miss any of these people?"
20. "Like, I only really want to keep in touch with a few of them."
21. "is it sad that the only people I miss are my teachers?"
22. "can I leave yet? I really want some tacos."
23. "I'm so glad I'm in college. I don't miss high school at all."
I just realized that all of my thoughts were super salty. Yet that makes sense - high school, especially my senior year, was an overall unpleasant experience for me. College so far has been a wonderful journey - challenging at times, but overall it's been delightful.
That last thought is the most important. I never felt like I belonged in the high school social hierarchy. I based my confidence on others' thought of me. In college, I've grown beyond that. Who cares if so-and-so thinks you're a dork? Guess what? Dorks are pretty awesome, so own up to that. Who cares if you have acne? Literally, everyone gets a pimple once in their life.
College is the rare opportunity in life that lets you begin with a fresh slate - so, my dear high school readers, don't worry if you feel trapped in high school. It won't be long before you strut across that stage to grab that diploma and get the hell out of there (or be like me and trip on the stage in front of 500 families).
I don't miss high school, but I don't regret going back. Sometimes you have to return to a sight of unpleasant memories in order to realize that you've moved beyond it. You've grown up - the next time you return, you'll be stronger, wiser, and hopefully happier.
