Sometimes, you can learn a lot about life from unexpected places. For me, that place was the officially licensed Strawberry Shortcake™ social media presence. The following are all real images from their Facebook page. By artfully combining pieces of stock art in slightly different configurations with vague #relatable sentiments surgically attached, I discovered a lot of important truths about the world and about myself. There are infinitely many parallels between the microcosmic society of tiny fruit-themed girls and our own. Listed below are some of the most important Strawberry Shortcake™ memes from recent history.
1. Always be open to trying new things!
2. If there's one thing that won't let you down, it's dessert!
3. It's important to set aside time out of your day to sit down, pour yourself a cup of tea, and let anxiety consume you completely.
4. Guilt is the strongest human emotion, and what disguises itself as "compassion for others" may in fact be a matter of clearing the conscience for one's own comfort.
5. A friend is a status symbol which indicates an association with you is worth having.
6. Those born into power or wealth will find prestige and prosperity, although they have done nothing to inherently gain this advantage.
7. Art is only a temporary distraction from the banality of existence, unless you immerse yourself in your art constantly.
8. When life is difficult, make it even more complicated yourself, so that at least you have something tangible to blame for your constant state of anxiety rather than dare to consider the abstract.
9. Copperplate is still a valid font.
10. Media literacy is swiftly becoming more than a convenience; it will soon be a necessity for function in a modern societal context.
11. No matter how hard you try to cleanse yourself of your sins, you will always know what wrongs you have committed and will constantly be expecting whatever karmic retribution that may come your way.
12. Change begets unpredictability. The only risk of familiarity is "monotony." It is a wager in which the stakes are high and the motivation is low.
13. Morality is relative, for even the evildoer has something to benefit from his actions.
14. As hard as you may try, you will never be prepared for everything.
15. Indecision is the tangled root of all evils, for to make a choice is to risk error, and to delay action is to deny the given opportunity.
16. There IS such a thing as too many cookies!
17. The corporate and educational Monday-Friday nine-to-five schedule has so deeply ingrained itself into the consciousness of modern society that even young individuals are taught to resent five days out of the week and celebrate the remaining two, creating an endless cycle that alternates only between hatred and dread.
18. Humans are inherently self-serving above all else, and friendship is nothing more than a mutual contract formed between two people not to actively sabotage the other for personal gain.
19. Comparing yourself to others is the only objective standard of the quality of one's life; the individual cannot exist independent of its perceivers.
20. Capitalism has you trapped in its iron-clad grip.
21. Good opportunities will often take you far from home.
22. As you watch the inexorable passage of time, you know there is no sense in fearing the inevitable future, and yet fear is the only way we know how to cope with uncertainty.
23. Blog about it!
