After turning 22 this past weekend and further establishing myself as an up and coming twenty-something, I've had a chance to do a lot of reflecting on my life so far. Basically, I've done a lot of stupid things, accomplished some awesome things, but most importantly, experienced a lot of eye-opening things. With 21 chapters of my life complete, here are some lessons I've learned.
1. Embrace the awkward.
Let’s be honest, nobody is fully fond of awkward moments. However, you can approach the inevitable awkwardness in two different ways: avoid it all together (good luck) or embrace/have fun with it. I mean, you might cringe for a while after, but hey, at least you’ve come to terms with it!
2. Parents know best.
I’m sure my parents are reading this with a big smile on their face. Yes, Mom and Dad, you’re always right. I guess your years of wisdom and life experience should be taken a little more seriously by me. I can’t imagine how many things I could have avoided if I just listened to what my parents said.
3. Some friends aren’t meant to stay (and that's OK).
This is one of the toughest concepts for me to grasp, but I’ve discovered it to be true. Some friendships have expiration dates. You can try your hardest to make it work, but sometimes the two of you are just moving in different directions or the friendship is toxic.
4. Step outside your comfort zone.
If you’re always playing it safe and doing things you’re comfortable with, how will you ever grow as an individual, discover passions or even meet new people? It can be one of the scariest moments, but a rewarding one, too.
5. If it’s between staying up to write a paper or going out with friends, choose friends (most of the time).
I’m not saying go out every night of the week because, well, that’s just not a good idea. I’m emphasizing the importance of being spontaneous with your friends. You only have a limited time in college. As cliché as it sounds, you’re not going to remember staying up until three in the morning writing a paper, but you will remember the moment you and your friends went out for dollar drink night.
6. Failure is going to happen even if you try to avoid it.
Failure, in general, is terrifying. Who in their right mind wants to try something and fail? It sucks. However, the failures in life are so detrimental to the learning process. A failure can open your eyes to something you might’ve missed before and can potentially allow you to reevaluate what you’re doing.
7. Being single is not a bad thing.
I promise I actually mean this. We live in a society where people are expected to be dating/talking/actively seeking out someone. Why? As a twenty-something, I only have a number of years to be selfish and focus on my needs, my goals and myself. I can make my own schedule without the pressure of another person. I can fully enjoy any aspect of my life.
8. A good book, song, TV show or movie can get you through anything.
There are days, weeks or even months where things just don’t seem to add up and nothing goes right. During these times, I’ve discovered the power of a book, song, TV show or movie. They let you escape reality for bits of time and focus on something other than what’s going wrong. I can list several examples of each that have gotten me through every rough patch in my life.
9. Appreciate the friends who are always there.
This one is a no-brainer. There are people in your life who will always be there for you to celebrate your victories or help you pick up the pieces when your life falls apart. Sure, it’s exciting to meet new people, but don’t forget the ones who’ve been by your side through virtually everything. They are the ones in it for the long haul.
10. Let go of people who don’t value you.
If someone cannot appreciate you for who you are, they are not worth your time. Plain and simple. For every person who tries to change you or make you feel bad about yourself, there are five others who love you for you.
11. Tell the people in your life how much you appreciate them.
Sometimes people just need to hear how much they mean to you. Whether they are your parents or best friends, letting them know how grateful you are for everything they do for you can go a long way.
12. Organization is key.
When I say “organization”, I’m using it very loosely. We all have our own method of staying organized; finding that method is vital. Sometimes life picks up and keeping everything sorted out can be a task all on its own. Creating your own way to remain organized will save you so much trouble later on.
13. Ask for help.
It’s not an easy thing to do, but getting help when you need it is everything. Whether seeking out help means going to a professor to ask questions about an assignment or going to a counseling center when things start to feel gloomy, don’t be afraid to look for assistance. Life is hard enough; going through it alone is even harder.
14. Don’t dwell on the past.
Whatever happened, happened. It’s over with and nothing about it can be changed. Quit putting your time and energy regretting something you did/didn’t do because how’s that going to improve your current situation?
15. Treat everyone how you want to be treated.
Everyone is going through his or her own personal journey. No one completely understands what someone else is going through. You don’t have to respect someone, but you can treat them with respect. There are a lot of mean people in the world; you don’t want to be one of them.
16. Find something that makes you feel alive.
It’s easy to get caught up in the monotonous flow of everyday life. Days can blur together and, eventually, you have no idea where the time went. Take a step back and find something that slows down time for you, something that really puts you in the moment. Don’t let go of that feeling. Whenever you’re feeling down, remember those moments.
17. Jealousy ruins things.
Jealousy is something I’m notoriously guilty of. It’s easy to get jealous. From personal experience, this jealousy can turn to resentment incredibly fast and can put the strain on friendships. Just be aware that nothing is always as it seems. Everyone has their struggles, even if his or her life is seemingly perfect. Be happy about everything you have because things could always be worse.
18. Don’t be afraid of emotions.
Let yourself feel things. If you’re sad and want to cry, do it. If you’re elated, dance around the room! Going through the emotions you need to experience is such a cathartic feeling. Never let anyone tell you to tone down what you're feeling; these emotions are yours, so own them!
19. If you don’t like something, change it!
Feeling stuck is an awful feeling. If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, drop it. Life is both the longest and shortest thing you’ll ever experience, so your time is incredibly valuable. Don’t waste it on something you’re not passionate about.
20. College isn’t just about classes.
Remember that you’re in college for an education, not a classroom experience. While classes are important, don’t let them run your entire college career. Join an organization that interests you, spend hours in the coffee shop you’ve been meaning to visit and go out with your friends on a Tuesday. Personal experience is just as valuable as any classroom experience in regards to learning.
21. Love yourself because you matter.
This is by far the most important lesson I have learned in my 21 years. You must understand how valuable you are and how much you matter to people. If others can see the awesomeness that you are, you should be able to see it yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in the things you don’t like about yourself, but own them. There is literally no one else in the world like you. Love yourself because you’re once in a lifetime.
