Celebrating my 21st birthday this past weekend, I had a lot to reflect on.
After 21 years of life, I thought I would have this whole thing down by now. I do not have it all together, but I do have some definite lessons that I have learned in the past 21 years. Some are silly, some are justified, but all stood out in my mind from these past 21 years.
1. Don’t let somebody else control your happiness
Your own happiness has to come from yourself. You can never base it off of somebody else or their actions because it will never work out in the end.
2. Mental health days are necessary and important.
Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with our schedules and we have so much one our plate that we're puling our hair out. Take one day, school can wait, appointments can wait, and replenish yourself.You are no good to anybody if you are drained.
3. When something is hard, write about it.
Writing is a way of coping with the things going on. Rather than crying and wallowing in your own self pity, create something meaningful. When you are hurting, take five minutes and create something beautiful from pain.
4. Keep close to a few friends.
I always wanted to be well liked. I was never completely happy until I realized I would rather be well liked by a few meaningful people, than by many. Hold your true friends close. They are there for the ride, not just when things are good.
5. Pray harder than you’re comfortable with.
Keeping in prayer is so important. Check up with God and pray for everything. He knows what's in your heart, so nothing you will say is new to him. He wants you to humble your heart and look to him.
6. Don’t keep toxic people around
You have a choice in this world who can hurt you. If somebody does hurt you, you also do not have to keep them around, no matter who it is. You do not have to keep toxicity in your life.
7. Give yourself a break, you are growing and learning.
We are always so hard on ourselves. Everything we do, we criticize it because we are our own worst critics. Take a step back, cut yourself some slack and realize that you are still growing and learning and it's okay if you don't get everything right.
8. Cling to what is good
There are so many things in life that we let pass by us or take for granted because we are blinded by our needs. When something is good in your life, hold onto it. Don't hold out for something that you may perceive as better. Cling to what is good.
9. Never let somebody tell you that your emotions are invalid.
When somebody hurts you, they are not allowed to tell you that you are not hurt by their words or actions, or that you shouldn't be hurt by it. Your emotions are always valid, and you should express them, and don't allow people to tell you what is right to feel.
10. Bad experiences do not create a bad life.
In life there are a lot of bad things that happen everyday. Just because you have had bad experiences, that doesn't mean you have a bad life. It does mean, however, that you should take those experiences and learn and grow from them and create something better.
11. Be kind to Everyone.
We have all heard that everybody in your life is fighting a battle that you don't know. Nothing could be truer. A little kindness to somebody can go a long way. Be kind and spread kindness to everybody you meet. Being kind is free!
12. People aren’t meant to be in your life forever.
We are all so focused on "forever's". You are going to love your significant other forever, you're going to be friends with somebody forever, the list goes on. The truth is, some forevers are cut short by circumstance. People aren't meant to be in your life forever, so hold onto and cherish them while you can. Don't be saddened because their forever took them in a different direction.
13. You will be happier when you look for the positives in somebody, rather than negatives.
We spend so much time focusing on the negatives in people. We point out their imperfections, the things we don't like about them, and we criticize people for what they look like, what they say, and what they do. The truth is, that is building up negativity in your own life as well. Begin to point out positives about people and you will feel the negativity lift.
14. Write even when you don’t know what to write.
Writing is so important to many aspects of my life. It has brought me through a lot and also documented a lot of my pain and happiness. When you don't feel like writing, when you don't know what to write, just write anyways.
15. Coffee can get you through anything.
Coffee has a super power where it just magically makes everything okay. When you're sad, drink coffee. When you're tired, drink coffee. When you don't know what you're doing in life, drink coffee. Coffee can change a bad day into a good one within minutes.
16. Always have a change of clothes in your car.
I have been stuck so many times since I begun driving where I spilled something on myself. Keep another outfit in your car, just in case.
17. It is better to be 15 minutes early, than 15 minutes late.
People notice when you run in seconds before you're suppose to be there, and that says a lot about who you are. Always make it a point to be 15 minutes early everywhere you're going.
18. Respect yourself if you want somebody to respect you.
The first step to having somebodies respect is to respect yourself. It is very obvious when people do not respect themselves, or don't care about themselves. You get what you give.
19. Know your limits.
There are so many instances where you need this. Know your limits when it comes to the opposite sex, to friendship, to alcohol, to time management, the list goes on. Know where your limits are, and draw a line in the sand.
20. Failure is inevitable.
Everybody is so afraid to fail. To fail does not mean that you are a failure. There is a large distinction that needs to be made there. Because you failed, does not mean you are a failure. You may have failed, but that also means you tried. Failure is unavoidable, we are going to let people down, fall short of our goals, disappoint ourselves, etc. That's okay.
21. Be fully present in every moment.
We are so busy in our everyday lives. We have work, school, appointments, athletics, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, that it's hard to keep up with it all. We are constantly thinking about all of the things that we need to do, while we are doing the prior. While you are in a moment, be fully present. Don't worry about everything you need to do, be fully submerged in your surroundings and the people around you because you will not have it forever.
