Do you remember being 15 and wishing so badly that we were 18? Ah, the freedom of being an “adult”. We could buy lotto tickets, stay out past the legal curfew and watch the rated R movies actually in the movie theater. Then I turned 18. I think I enjoyed it for one whole day, then I was over it and I counted down the days to being 21. Now here I am. I am 21. I am young. I am ambitious. I am also totally terrified and changing every day.
I’ve been 21 for a little over seven months now. How much could I have really changed in that time? A lot.
1. I appreciate my body more.
Instead of spending time looking in the mirror trying to figure out what was wrong with me, I decided to spend my time appreciating my features that the Good Lord gave me. I did something crazier after that-I actually started to fall in love with my body. I appreciated my size 12 body instead of wishing I was anything smaller. At the age of 21, I learned that I can eat healthily and McDonald’s, work out, not care and still love myself at the same time. (Don’t get me wrong, I sometimes have my days but who doesn’t?)
2. I figured out who I was as a person.
Maybe it was luck, but in my great 21 years, we went through finding a new president. Without getting political, I had to appreciate both parties that ran for the presidency. Within their time of debates, I learned a lot about myself. What I agreed and didn’t agree with. All the time we are faced with the discouragement of our morals and values, no matter they may be. Yet, here I am, a conservative, sitting in a liberal school. I use to bite my tongue and not make eye contact when professors encouraged us to debate. Then I became outspoken and was proud of standing up for my own beliefs. I’d like to think I never argue, I just educate. As a person, I am a proud conservative, an accepting Christian and one who values family so much.
3. I'm constantly confused with myself, still.
I found that when we dig, we hit gold sometimes. Although if we dig in the wrong spot, we can hit rock bottom. I took some time digging so deep, I figured out there was something about who I could possibly be, that I did not like. I was so convinced that I needed to be who I was destined to be right in that moment that I didn’t take the time to actually grow. I spent too much time looking for signs to point me in the right direction when in reality, I was in a hurry. I grew too much anxiety trying to make it to tomorrow, I forgot to actually enjoy the day I was given.
4. I've learned to love.
That is both a better and worse aspect to life. When we were teenagers, we loved our friends, significant others, and family members but to an extent. Being 21, we love with everything we have, which is great. Then again, it makes our hearts so fragile. I was blessed with finding my heart as a junior in high school when I began dating my boyfriend. We have been together for five years now. Of course, we would say those three magic words in high school. Now, we are 21 and we say “I love you”, there seems to be a whole new meaning to it. Without going into detail, in that moment, we are fulfilling so many promises and hopes for not just my future, but for our future.
5. I learned how to adult.
It is the cruelest thing to possibly happen because I am convinced it has not prepared me enough for what is yet to come. While being 21, I have created such a tight bond with my roommates who just so happen to be my very best friends. Naturally, we live at each end of the state. As we all dread May to come upon us, my heart aches now at the fact that being 21 I am going to have to tell my best friends “see ya later.” Because I am 21, I learned that “later” is not as soon as we wish it could be.
If I could give any advice to those who are not 21 yet, don’t turn 21. Sure, nights out on the town are amazingly fun (and expensive). If you can figure out how to slow down time, I highly suggest you do it. I am proud of my body. I am proud of the person I am. I love intensely knowing my heart can break along the way. I am terrified to be an adult but I am ready. Want to know why? Because I am 21.
