2016:
It definitely wasn’t all good. It definitely broke me down, just as every other preceding year has. The path I took during 2016 was far from straight, and, often times, was in reverse. The year showed me the worst parts of a few people, including myself. But as the days of this year are closing in on number 365, I realize this: it definitely wasn’t all bad. 2016 definitely built me up, made me stronger, greater than any other preceding year ever has. The path I took was wild, and though there were some low lows along the way, they weren’t the lowest and the high highs? They were finally the highest.
I surpassed two decades in this world and finally started to figure something out: me. 2016 was the year I finally understood what I wanted. It was the year that I actually decided to take action to get what I wanted. 2016 was a year that I made immense sacrifices, took extreme chances, and, through that process, learned more about myself than I ever have before. 2016 showed me that I can be who I want to be, who I’m supposed to be, regardless of the judgment and dismay of others. This year reminded me that it is OK to put myself first. That it is OK to not please everyone around me 24/7. That sometimes, it is OK to be so selfishly happy and in love with myself. In 2016, I finally chose me.
It seems as every year starts fresh on January 1, we all decide to make it “our” year: “this is the year I accomplish ‘these’ goals, go to ‘those’ places, live ‘this’ life. This is going to be my year.” But, almost always, January becomes February, the summer months sneak up even faster, and Christmas is forever "right around the corner." Another year passed without any of the things we promised ourselves.
I continued that pattern. I woke up on January 1stand promised myself these things. And, typically, as the year began flying by at rocket speed, I realized nothing was getting accomplished. I was the same person, doing the same things, living the same life, simply waiting for change to fall out of the sky and into my lap. I was waiting for someone else to bring me what I wanted, for someone else to make 2016 “my” year. But guess what? No one else can accomplish your goals, live your life, and keep your promises. It’s up to you to create a worthy existence.
So that’s what I did.
Though it was a process, I stopped expecting things to be easy. In 2016 I stopped thinking good things would come to me without hard work. And, hard as it was, I started making choices that would benefit me in the long run. This year I stopped living for temporary satisfaction and strived to see the “bigger picture” in every situation. I began monitoring and altering my reactions in circumstances in which I had no control over. I stopped allowing myself to be so affected by anything that didn’t absolutely need me to be. In 2016 I took back the power I had given to so many people over the years and therefore finally empowered myself. I did and said things that I needed to, without the influence of others, without the fear of their negative opinion. And, here is the kicker, I began to practice what I preached. I chose to not only talk about eliminating negativity and spreading the opposite, but I began living it. "Happiness" became more than just a word in 2016, it became a lifestyle and a beautiful one at that.
In 2016, I forgave myself. I forgave my missteps and bad choices when I stopped just acknowledging or repeating them and finally began to learn from them. I turned every regret, mistake and wrong decision into a lesson learned. This year, I found the hidden blessing in experiencing struggle, heartache and rejection, which is the boundless appreciation and pleasure you find in every good thing afterward. I found the value in healthy, happy, growing relationships with those around me and, most importantly, with myself. And in 2016, I found the worth and peace in forgiving others, too.
Even with the burden of expense (in every way possible), in 2016 I stopped simply flirting with the border of my comfort zone and finally approached it and took off beyond it. I made it to a new continent, I met more people than I ever have before in my life, I saw new and incredible perspectives that brought the biggest and greatest changes to me. In 2016, I stopped allowing my fears and apprehension dictate nearly every single choice I was presented with. I continuously reminded myself that once a moment in time is gone, I can never get it back. I began taking advantage of the now and did things that I would never again have the opportunity to experience.
In 2016, I found love. I found a love that I never thought would exist, a love that made me a better person in every way possible. A love that overwhelmed my entire being with happiness and optimism and wisdom and strength. This year, I found love, and the love was of me.
In 2016, I finally chose me. And as the year comes to a close, I’m filled with so much hope in knowing that in 2017, and every year after, I can choose me again and again and again.
