One snowy evening in Akron, Ohio I was swiping through tinder like any single college girl does, looking at profiles, reading bios, and chatting with different possible dates. This had been my main way of meeting people in Akron since I had moved there in August of 2014.
I came across a photo of a man named Mike who was 22 years old. He looked handsome and respectful so I matched with him. We exchanged a few messages on tinder before I gave him my number. We texted back and forth for a while before deciding to meet the next night, I had mentioned to him that I hadn’t been on any “real dates” since I invited most of my tinder matches over to my dorm just to hang out with my roommate and friends.
He told me that he was going to pick me up and take me on a real date. I was pretty excited, to say the least. Now of course we snap chatted to make sure I wasn’t getting catfished. I was getting ready the next night and feeling nervous, putting on my cake face of makeup and my floral dress. I talked to my best friend about him saying how nice he seemed and how nervous but excited I was. She was nervous for me to go on a “blind date” but she let me go anyways.
Our first date went great and only five days later we began dating. I can remember vividly that on our first date we both said we didn’t want anything serious mainly because we both had just gotten out of relationships. We both laugh about this now.
December 10, 2014 was our official "couple date." This was only a few days before holiday break where I would go home to Cincinnati to be with my family for a whole month. To me, this made our chance of a long term relationship slim because he wouldn’t see me for a whole month. I assumed we would have broken up by the end of that month, but no I ended up convincing my parents to let him come to Cincinnati on one condition he must stay in a hotel. Which I was so excited that my parents even agreed to let him come.
My parents had never met him before so on December 26, 2014 he arrived at my house around 6 am to meet my parents before they went to work. I remember feeling so awkward and nervous, I had been planning my outfit for weeks and briefing my boyfriend on what to say to my parents. I, being a Cincinnati native, took this weekend to show him around Cincinnati we went to The Coffee Emporium, Shake it Records, and everything in between. My parents ended up loving him and agreed to allow him to come again during the break. I remember on his last day in Cincinnati we were laying on my bed in my dark room as the sun was setting wishing that he didn’t have to leave, crying because I began to realize that I loved this man. That moment we said that we loved each other. I remember feeling so elated and scared all at the same time. Not even dating a month and I was so sure in my head that we were going to be broken up by now, but no, we decided to make the effort to stay together.
Fast forward to December 10, 2015: our one year anniversary. In that one year we had been through so much. He had made the decision to go back to college while working full time, we had spent an entire summer apart with only couple visits each month. I had signed a lease to live with my best friend for a full year in an apartment and he had found an apartment to live in as well. Through all the changes we managed to make time for each. We made time to explore different places and just talk to each other.
My personal tips for a strong relationship are just communicate...NO MATTER WHAT! Also be brutally honest. Put it on the table at all times and don’t hold back. Ask for what you want and being wiling to compromise. Finally just remember that some issues can’t be fixed overnight and that you need to give it time.
That holiday break we had our visits all planned out, no more hotels, way more casual. My best friend even came down with him once to celebrate New Year’s. This was around the time I started to hint that I would be open to the idea of getting engaged, but first we wanted to transfer to University of Cincinnati and of course move to Cincinnati.
So the long process began… Living three hours away from Cincinnati gave its challenges when it came to advising appointments and taking tours of the campus. We spent almost every free weekend traveling back and forth from Akron to Cincinnati. Before we knew it, it was summer break we planned to move at the end of July but surprise he ended up finding a job in Cincinnati that wanted to start right away. So we moved in the beginning of July into my parent’s basement. We both started working and at this point I was pretty much ready to get engaged. If you know me personally at all you know that I’m always on top of it, always focused on the next thing.
So my boyfriend began planning, he kept a majority of it a secret except for the rings because I had some pretty specific request about the rings. So one weekend we went to Saint Louis to celebrate our birthdays I had my suspicions that this weekend was going to be the moment but I wasn’t sure. We left for Saint Louis at 4 am on August 6, 2016 and got there around 9 am we spent the day site seeing and exploring the city. Then we checked into our hotel and I got ready to go out to dinner. We drove to what I thought was dinner but we ended up in this beautiful park, he told me to wait in the car. I knew in my heart that this was the moment, I was so nervous and excited. He texted me and told me where he was and I walked to go find him. He was sitting on bench and asked me to sit down, he began reading me a three page letter he wrote for me that brought me to tears. Then he grabbed my hand and I stood up as he got on one knee and asked to marry me! Of course I said yes! The feeling of relief and excitement rushed over my body. Knowing that he was the man I would be with for the rest of my life felt so amazing.
Of course everyone has their opinion on me getting engaged so young, some people say “Oh how cute and traditional.” While others say “You’re so young you haven’t even lived your life.” A lot of people my age think of marriage and even engagement as the end of their exciting and amazing life.
I promise you it’s not, if you marry the right person then together you can experience life and all the amazing things it has to offer. Having a side kick to encourage you and love you through life is better than anything. Honestly being engaged feels the same as dating. We still live together, we still do our everyday things. The only thing that is different is the ring on my finger. We both understand how hard marriage can really be and are working towards being a stronger more unified couple.
As for now, we have decided to wait until after were both out of school to get married. My dream wedding would be a morning wedding in the rain with a thrift shop dress and all my close family and friends. Somewhere outdoors and full of trees, I just want it to be simple and quiet. Being in love and knowing that you have someone by your side no matter what is the best thing I could ever ask for. If you told me two years ago that I would be engaged to the love of my life I wouldn’t believe you. I can remember only weeks before I met my fiance I had to do an assignment for class where I made some long term goals, and one of them was to find a boyfriend. My professor at the time gave me this advice “Sometimes the best relationship come when you’re expecting nothing at all.” I feel like this advice is very much true for my life. So being 20 years old and engaged isn’t what most 20 years old are focused on but I think it was the best choice I could ever make at this point in my life.
