With the end of the quarter only one week away, the excitement of Spring Break approaching is literally tangible. But first... Finals. I personally believe that finals are unjust, inhumane, and should be outlawed. But since I can't be president for another 17 years, I'll just have to tough them out. Below are 20 things I'd do, believe it or not, to get out of taking my finals.

1. Go to LACMA for the sole purpose of observing the art.



2. Go to the beach and shovel my way to china.

Might take a few years... but you do what you gotta do.


3. Ding dong ditch all the Frat houses.

Maybe this guy will come out and look for me.


4. Refer to myself only in the third person for a week.

5. Watch 50 Shades of Grey with my parents.

6. Walk around campus with a rolling backpack.


7. Change my last name to Trump on all social media platforms.

8. Learn hieroglyphics.

I have no idea what this is, but I'm 100% sure it's less complicated than my Econ homework.


9. Read the Oxford Dictionary.



10. Give a speech to congress while highly intoxicated.


11. Like my ex’s photo on Instagram from 47 weeks ago.

I might have to change my name and flee the country, but sometimes you have to choose your battles.


12. Do a juice cleanse.. for like five years.

I might starve to death, but a GPA is forever.



13. Apply to jobs with my third grade email address.


14. Watch a silent film.


15. Take a dip in the UCSB lagoon.

Looks inviting.


16. Be the subject of a police chase.

O.J. Simpson style.


17. Watch professional golf.


18. Introduce my imaginary friend to every new person I meet, for a whole week.


19. Eat soup with a fork in public.


20. Eat a giant carrot on the quiet floor at the library.

Yup.. finals are THAT bad.