To the New Step Mom
Start writing a post
popular

To the New Step Mom

To the new step mom trying to find her place in her child's life...

1729
To the New Step Mom

Congrats! You've fallen in love with an amazing guy who swept you right off your feet, asked you to spend forever by his side and live happily ever after! The catch? He is a daddy, to a little boy who is not yours. However, this is not a catch at all, it is simply a bonus, the cherry on top and better than any BOGO sale you could ever find in the mall. The fact of the matter is, this child is the rock solid foundation that your relationship is built on, whether you realize it or not. Everything your husband ever was changed the second he laid eyes on that sweet, innocent baby boy. Your husband loves harder but softer all at the same time because of him. Your spouse chose you because he trusted you, he knew YOU could handle it. He watched how his whole world looked at you the first time you met, and how your relationship has grown each day since. He watched how a forced acquaintance turned into an overwhelming and unconditional bond.

Quick round of applause if you have made it this far. Step mom life is not for the faint of heart. This means you've overcame the initial dating stage where people say "Wow.. He has a kid?" and having to explain that his son's not a deal-breaker for you. You've made it through telling your family that you're not just bringing your new boyfriend home for Christmas, but his son too, "so mom, you might want to buy a few extra presents." You've lasted long enough after being in public as a family and hearing "Your son is so cute!" and the sting of him saying "She's not my mom." And lastly, you have conquered the many, many tears and accepted that you will never be more to him than his step mom.

Your first duty as step mom, is to love his mom. That's right, you read that correctly. She is part of that child, and is the reason he is with you today. She is not your competition. You have different roles you are each to play in his life. You are teammates. While you may disagree, and she might not even be your favorite person in the world, you have the same goal. Your goal is to love that boy to no end, to give him safe homes, and a bright future. The key is respect. Respect her and respect boundaries. Remember that you signed up for this, you're not just married to your husband but to his ex and her new family too! Be kind and get to know each other, you might have more in common than you think. This will not go unnoticed in the eyes of your shared son, he will adore the fact that all of his favorite people in the whole world can stand being in the same room as each other, and maybe even enjoy it?

Your second duty, is to LOVE like you have never loved before. Remember he is a child. He may act out and you may hear "Well at my mom's house we..." Don't ever take things personal, and remember that he is going through changes too. You are in this together. Even though it doesn't always feel like it, he needs you, even if it is just because his DAD needs you. I know you've been thrown into this mom thing with no time to prepare or learn from experience, but you will. You will learn his quirks, his favorite Pokemon, his breakfast cereal he wants on hand at all times, that you have to smell his breath in the morning because he didn't actually brush his teeth when you asked, and that he shares his daddy's eyes. (Yes, the ones you fell deeply in love with.) You don't have to be the evil step mom from Cinderella, so don't be. Take the time to enjoy the new blessings life has given you.

& Don't forget, in the same way you can't replace his mom, no one can replace you either. You are loved. You are important. You are needed.

Related Articles Around the Web
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

'Hotel Transylvania: Transformania' Film Review

Solid animation can't raise the newest entry in Sony's colorful monster series beyond the basics

18131
'Hotel Transylvania: Transformania' Film Review
Photo Credit: Amazon Prime Video – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6suJohjIvfo

I take a slight issue with the idea that Adam Sandler didn’t have a good dramatic role until ‘Uncut Gems,’ what about ‘Hotel Transylvania’ (he says semi-seriously)?’

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

4 Common Reasons Couples Get Divorced

Are some people just not meant to be together? Is there any way to prevent an impending divorce?

59990
4 Common Reasons Couples Get Divorced

We've all heard the statistics. Roughly 50% of married couples eventually end up divorced. This can lead to complications, problems with your children, financial issues, and no small amount of negative emotions.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

​Pets are Good for the Soul

Millions of Americans have found comfort in pet ownership. The media has been awash with stories about a surge in pet ownership, as Americans have taken advantage of the ability of pets to improve emotional well-being.

63946
Good for the Soul
Pets are Good for the Soul

America is going through a mental health crisis. This crisis predates the global pandemic, but has in many ways been dramatically exacerbated by it. In 2019, 19.86% of adults, or 50 million Americans, reported suffering from a mental illness. The emotional toll of the pandemic has been heavy, with over half of U.S. adults saying that they have experienced stress and worry related to Covid-19. Anxieties over work, uncertainty about the future and other triggers have intensified the mental health crisis. Millions of Americans have found comfort in pet ownership. The media has been awash with stories about a surge in pet ownership, as Americans have taken advantage of the ability of pets to improve emotional well-being.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How Your Sleep Position Affects Your Health?

You changed into your pajamas, turn off the lights, and get yourself ready to sleep. How do you prefer to sleep, on the back, on your side, or on your tummy? Although there’s no scientific result that sleeping position affects your back, here are some interesting facts that have been discovered.

174105
Sleep Position

You changed into your pajamas, turn off the lights, and get yourself ready to sleep. How do you prefer to sleep, on the back, on your side, or on your tummy? Although there’s no scientific result that sleeping position affects your back, here are some interesting facts that have been discovered.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How to Throw the Ultimate Winter Bash

As the year starts to come to an end, make sure you find the time to have some fun as well.

121009
Ultimate Winter Bash

As the year starts to come to an end, make sure you find the time to have some fun as well.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments