To the New Step Mom
Start writing a post

To the New Step Mom

To the new step mom trying to find her place in her child's life...

1747
To the New Step Mom

Congrats! You've fallen in love with an amazing guy who swept you right off your feet, asked you to spend forever by his side and live happily ever after! The catch? He is a daddy, to a little boy who is not yours. However, this is not a catch at all, it is simply a bonus, the cherry on top and better than any BOGO sale you could ever find in the mall. The fact of the matter is, this child is the rock solid foundation that your relationship is built on, whether you realize it or not. Everything your husband ever was changed the second he laid eyes on that sweet, innocent baby boy. Your husband loves harder but softer all at the same time because of him. Your spouse chose you because he trusted you, he knew YOU could handle it. He watched how his whole world looked at you the first time you met, and how your relationship has grown each day since. He watched how a forced acquaintance turned into an overwhelming and unconditional bond.

Quick round of applause if you have made it this far. Step mom life is not for the faint of heart. This means you've overcame the initial dating stage where people say "Wow.. He has a kid?" and having to explain that his son's not a deal-breaker for you. You've made it through telling your family that you're not just bringing your new boyfriend home for Christmas, but his son too, "so mom, you might want to buy a few extra presents." You've lasted long enough after being in public as a family and hearing "Your son is so cute!" and the sting of him saying "She's not my mom." And lastly, you have conquered the many, many tears and accepted that you will never be more to him than his step mom.

Your first duty as step mom, is to love his mom. That's right, you read that correctly. She is part of that child, and is the reason he is with you today. She is not your competition. You have different roles you are each to play in his life. You are teammates. While you may disagree, and she might not even be your favorite person in the world, you have the same goal. Your goal is to love that boy to no end, to give him safe homes, and a bright future. The key is respect. Respect her and respect boundaries. Remember that you signed up for this, you're not just married to your husband but to his ex and her new family too! Be kind and get to know each other, you might have more in common than you think. This will not go unnoticed in the eyes of your shared son, he will adore the fact that all of his favorite people in the whole world can stand being in the same room as each other, and maybe even enjoy it?

Your second duty, is to LOVE like you have never loved before. Remember he is a child. He may act out and you may hear "Well at my mom's house we..." Don't ever take things personal, and remember that he is going through changes too. You are in this together. Even though it doesn't always feel like it, he needs you, even if it is just because his DAD needs you. I know you've been thrown into this mom thing with no time to prepare or learn from experience, but you will. You will learn his quirks, his favorite Pokemon, his breakfast cereal he wants on hand at all times, that you have to smell his breath in the morning because he didn't actually brush his teeth when you asked, and that he shares his daddy's eyes. (Yes, the ones you fell deeply in love with.) You don't have to be the evil step mom from Cinderella, so don't be. Take the time to enjoy the new blessings life has given you.

& Don't forget, in the same way you can't replace his mom, no one can replace you either. You are loved. You are important. You are needed.

Related Articles Around the Web
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Holidays With the Family?

Should retail outlets close on holidays so their employees can be with their families?

142
Pexels

For the past few years, having stores open on Thanksgiving has become a popular trend. The sales have started earlier on the day known as Gray Thursday. Now, the Mall of America has taken a bold stand and is closing its doors on Thanksgiving. They are very excited in giving the day back to their workers so they can spend time with their family.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Black Friday: Explained

Time to question this unofficial corporate holiday.

2365
Flickr/John Henderson

On a personal level, Black Friday has always confused me. Everyone just ate a ton and spent all day with their families—why would we want to go out and vigorously shop, fighting crowds? I totally see why other people want to go do it, but I’ve never quite understood the concept myself. While I’ve been Black Friday shopping once or twice, I don’t get that excited about it unless it’s an opportunity to spend time with family or friends. Don’t get me wrong; I am the queen of bargains. Still, I never seem to have the energy to go out into the jungle of shoppers early the day after Thanksgiving, or even immediately after Thanksgiving dinner. Many people, though—including my loved ones—are enthusiastic about Black Friday shopping, and it seems most other Americans are the same way. So, it’s worth looking at the reasons for this commercially-driven, unofficial American holiday.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

#OptOutside This Black Friday

I am opting to go outside this Black Friday, and I hope you do so as well.

5415
Ross Woodhall

The day after Thanksgiving has always been regarded by many as the beginning of the Christmas season. While not a federal holiday, many people take off work, spend time at home with their families, and enjoy the beginning of the holiday season. This Friday off turned into a prime opportunity to begin the never-ending chore of Christmas shopping. Soon it became one of the busiest shopping days a year, which companies capitalized on by bringing the best deals of the year to this day we know as Black Friday.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

7 Moments You Only Experience As A Night Owl

Cereal never seemed more appealing than at 10 pm.

6791
7 Moments You Only Experience As A Night Owl

There is almost nothing more annoying in the world than waking up to the sound of an alarm. From the moment you get up until the time you get to bed, you are bombarded with responsibilities. You have to go to work and school, run errands, and do favors. But if you're a night owl then you have an advantage of getting a few more extra hours in the day. Here are seven perks to being a night owl:

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

17 tasty foods to cook in an air fryer

Air fryers are becoming a staple in all health conscious households because of its delicious, yet grease free way of cooking your favorite dishes! We all love a good fried chicken dish, but this is a great alternative if you are eating mindfully.

There are plenty of places that sell air fryers such as Target, Bed Bath and Beyond and Amazon.

5439
Air Fryed Avocado Fries
Photo by: Tatum Oblonsky

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments