Idealistically, when you leave high school you should be able to live on your own. I mean, college is technically optional. I wish my GEs were actual stuff I needed to know in life. So college administrators, here are my suggestions for the new freshman curriculum:
1. Cooking
It would be nice if you knew how to cook one dish by the time you graduated that might help trick your boyfriend into thinking you're wifey material.
My suggestion is to look into making something simple like look on Pinterest for a dummy proof recipe.
2. Laundry
Like I totally thought it was a myth that a red sock with a white load would turn my clothes pink. It turns out it makes your clothes spotty pink.
Also the kinds of detergent really do matter! Like the "he" label means something and there's a difference between pods, liquid, and powder detergent, as well as the different settings on the washing machine and dryer!
3. Taxes
Like did you know you don't have to file taxes if you earn less than $10,300 a year?
I have no idea what W-4 and 1096 exemptions are despite being an HR major... sorry, I missed that class.
Thank goodness for TurboTax, apparently there is a student discount too.
4. Car maintenance
The other day I went in for a smog and they told me my check engine light was on. I didn't even know what that was.
I met a girl recently, she was 21 and she still didn't know how to pump gas. I mean I don't know how to check tire pressure or change my oil, so I can't say much to that.
Driver's ed was great but when I see a mechanic, saying the thing doesn't work isn't really helpful and I'll probably get overcharged and get a new part that I didn't need.
5. How to pretend to be smart or like you were paying attention
We should be taught a weekly summary of current events in a user-friendly setting.
6. How to not look like you're someone that someone else should rob
I still have no idea how to ride public transport too just because I'm afraid I'll get robbed because I space out and just assume nobody wants to rob me.
My best suggestion is be aware of your surroundings. Try to seem confident and like a total baddie and people won't want to mess with you.
7. Knowing when you're dating a douche bag or a crazy girl
Sometimes we get blinded by love (or lust) and it takes a friend repeatedly telling you you're dating a fuckboy or a psychotic bitch.
8. Know when you're in an unhealthy relationship
Relationships are hard. Sometimes you wanna be a good friend and support your friend through good times and bad. But when the bad times outweigh the good and you're more sad than happy when you're with a person-- it's time to cut them loose or slowly let go.
This goes for significant others and BFFs.
9. Taking care of kids or cats
You may become pregnant, your sibling may have a baby, your best friend may have a baby, you may be asked to babysit, etc.
A child may be in your care spontaneously and it's important to know children are very impressionable and have a lot of feelings and eat a lot for their itty bitty size.
Also, cats and dogs and pets are basically furry children and should be treated accordingly.
10. Budgeting
Know when to say, "No I do not need another pair of black pumps. I should probably pay my rent because it's the first of the month. I'm going to Vegas for Spring Break so I should probably not go to Starbucks every day because I'd rather buy alcohol than coffee."
11. First Aid
It's probably good to know that if you get a cut you should use hydrogen peroxide and band aids or know when you are so sick you need to see a doctor.
12. How to really graduate in four years
Yeah, this should be higher on the list....
13. Counseling session
How much per hour?
14. Drug safety
Not saying you should do drugs, but just saying know you should know the difference between powder sugar and other stuff. It would be a good thing to know like how much rehab and legal fees cost, warning signs of addiction, and about the chemistry of drugs.
15. Alcohol safety
Please note how many drinks it takes to have fun but to do it safely.
Also note when a person should go to the hospital or you should leave a party.
16. How to write a resume
I was told single page resumes are a thing of the past because most recruiters and hiring managers read them from their computer and aren't worried about wasting paper, but whether or not they can actually read the resume with ease.
17. How to get a job
Learn how to use LinkedIn, find a good head hunter agency, make friends, be confident, and learn how to interview!
18. What not to post on social media
What if one day you became famous? Think about all the shit people could find out about you!
19. Voting
I am sick of people not knowing what political party they are in.
If you want free college, you should look into liberal policies and see if you agree.
If you hate taxes, you might be more conservative than you thought.
20. Accepting yourself and all your flaws
You're still growing up in college. It's a "safe" environment where you are supposed to learn and flourish, according to most of your colleges' mission statements.
